Category Archives: 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD

1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, ART, INSIDE THE BOOK, READING MATTER

WHEN BONES WERE JUST BONES

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

Excerpts from the book  “1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD“:

# 243  FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF

This doesn’t need any explanation. Many people have a “native” ability to do this, especially after they have lost their body, as well as  everything they worked for and accumulated during an entire lifetime.

Ideally, everyone would be allowed to have 4 or 5 bodies at once. So, when you lose one or two it’s not such a big deal. Unfortunately, Mother Nature hasn’t figured out how to allow each spirit to run more than one body at a time yet – not counting “the gods” of course.

But who knows, with enough time and practice you may remember how to do this too! According to Earth mythology the ancient gods of Greece, Egypt, China, India and Mesopotamia could manifest themselves in many guises and forms. Maybe you can find one or more of those ancient gods to teach you this skill.

 # 497 REGRET YOUR PAST

Endless years of agonizing can be consumed in this activity. It can be a lot of fun.

There is a lot of drama involved in regretting the past. People love drama. Mulling over all the things you did, you could have done, you shouldn’t have done, you wished you had done or not done, etc., is very dramatic.

There are a nearly infinite number of scenes from past lives you can replay, like old radio or TV soap operas. However, most of them have the same plot lines and get boring after a while. And, you can’t change any of them.

#  437  FEEL LONELY

This takes a total lack of imagination. You have always been with yourself, and by yourself, for nearly all of eternity. You are your own best friend. Enjoy yourself.

However, if you want some companionship, go out a find another spirit, a person, or a life form and befriend them. They will probably appreciate not being alone.

# 608  REMINISCE ABOUT THE “GOOD OLD DAYS

This can provide endless hours, years or millennia of pleasurable amusement for yourself and entertainment for others. Some writers, like Mark Twain, earned an excellent living by reminiscing about the past for most of their life.

1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, ART, FREE ADVICE, LIVES, MORTALITY MECHANIC'S MANUAL, PICTURE POEMS, POETIC NONSENSE, READING MATTER

YOUR VOICE ALONE

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

VoiceSamuel Barclay Beckett (13 April 1906 – 22 December 1989) was an Irish avant-garde novelist, playwright, theatre director, and poet, who lived in Paris for most of his adult life and wrote in both English and French. He is widely regarded as among the most influential writers of the 20th century.

Beckett’s work offers a bleak, tragicomic outlook on human existence, often coupled with black comedy and gallows humour, and became increasingly minimalist in his later career. He is considered one of the last modernist writers, and one of the key figures in what Martin Esslin called the “Theatre of the Absurd”.   Beckett was awarded the 1969 Nobel Prize in Literature.

...and other stuff, 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, ART, FREE ADVICE, INSIDE THE BOOK, POETIC NONSENSE, UNIVERSES

CUTENESS COSTUME

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

This Halloween, practice being cute….it may be a handy skill to have while you’re dead….

Excerpt from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A DEAD PERSONS’ GUIDE TO LIVING —

“ATTEND YOUR OWN FUNERAL.

When your relatives or public officials get around to disposing of your used body you may choose to attend the funeral. This can be complicated, tedious and disturbing to yourself and other funeral guests. Or it can be a great comfort to you and your loved ones. It’s up to you.

If you are concerned that the used body is disposed of properly you should definitely attend to make sure your final wishes have been followed. You may also want to check to see who is really grieving over your absence, and who is only pretending so they can get a share of your estate, and who came for the free food and drinks.

Reverence for the dead is very important. Especially if you’re the one that is dead. One thing is certain – you will never think of funerals the same way again. If you care about what your relatives or the undertaker is going to do with your used body you will want to stay to the end. This includes the burial, cremation, sprinkling of the ashes, donation to the “used parts” laboratory, or whatever is supposed to be done with your used body.

If you plan ahead you can have your body buried in a vegetable garden, a forest, a flower bed, or fed to the fishes in the ocean. It’s a shame to let a perfectly good source of nutrition for plants or other living creatures go to waste!

AVOID YOUR FUNERAL.

If you are squeamish about autopsies, embalming,  funeral piers, cremation incinerators, worms, bugs or bacteria you may want to stay away until all that messy, bad smelling business is over and done.

However, funeral directors have become quite masterful, over the past 5,000 years, at making a dead body look as good, or better, than it looked when it was alive. A little formaldehyde, a few strategic injections, a little stuffing, nice clothes, cosmetics, a wig and a comfy, silk-lined coffin, your used body can look better than ever!

This is a good reason to stay away as you may be enticed to start thinking about going back. Obviously, it’s too late. Factually, you never were a body and you definitely are not a body now. So stay focused. The future is where the rest of your life will be lived!

PRACTICE BEING CUTE.

If you attended your own funeral you are probably suffering from the loss of having a body. More important, you may be thinking that you don’t really have any identity or personality without having a body. How will anyone recognize you without your body?

Fortunately, bodies are a nickel a million. Five babies are born every second.  So, should you succumb to the ungodly urge to get a new baby body in order to feel a sense of personal identity, you will need to practice being cute.

The only reason people have babies – and keep them – is because they think babies are cute. The same principle applies to all living creatures. So, brush up on looking cute, making cute sounds, doing cute mannerisms, cute smiles, cute laughs, etc..  You’ll need to have your cute skills in top form when and if you get a new body.”

_________________

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

...and other stuff, 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, LIVES, MOVING PICTURES, UNIVERSES

“Paranormal” is “Normal”

Republished by Blog Post Promoter


 

The word “paranormal” or “surrounding normal” is used to refer to things or phenomenon that are unusual, weird, frightening, unknown and bizarre.  The term is most often used to categorize “spirits” or “spiritual phenomenon”.

However, the ONLY thing that every person, living entity and all of existence has in common is SPIRIT.

ALL of existence is a spiritual creation and activity.  What could be more “normal” that that?

Lawrence R. Spencer

March 11, 2011