Category Archives: 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD

LET IT BE PREDETERMINED

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LET IT BEFatalism: noun —  resignation, stoicism, acceptance of the inevitable;

Stoicism: noun — the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.   synonyms: patience, forbearance, resignation, fortitude, endurance, acceptance, tolerance

Predeterminism: nounthe idea that all events are determined in advance.[Predeterminism is the philosophy that all events of history, past, present and future, have been already decided or are already known (by God, fate, or some other force), including human actions.

Predestination; nouna doctrine or theory common to many of the prevalent religions such as Christianity, Islam Buddhism and Hinduism. Some of the features of it apparently seem identical with each other in every religion but the spirit of this concept generally varies in all to cause the bewilderment in the human community as to which of these explanations is based on truth.

A DEAD PERSON’S GUIDE TO LIVING

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This book is dedicated to all living beings who expect to die sometime and to all of the dead people who ever lived who may still be living somewhere, sometime, somehow. This book is also dedicated to all of the people who are living that may need some ideas about what to do with themselves after they die. Finally, this book is dedicated to all the people who will soon be living by virtue of one or more of the following circumstances: birth, rebirth, resurrection, reincarnation, transconfiguration, cryogenic resuscitation, invasion of alien beings, angels falling out of grace, an act of one or more gods, transformation or transmigration, arrival from a different time / space / universe / plane of existence, unimaginable others, Whoever you were, are, or will be, I trust that you will enjoy the “Rest of Eternity”.   — Lawrence R. Spencer

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FREE YOURSELF TO BE YOURSELF

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1001_Things_To_Do_While_You’re_Dead — An INTERVIEW with Lawrence R. Spencer

BE YOURSELF FOR A CHANGE.

“Relax. As a disembodied spirit you don’t have to hang around with people any more so you don’t have to try to impress anyone. In human society you are usually expected to look good, smell good, be good, do good and exhibit other behavior that may not come naturally to you.

For example, if you don’t take a bath for a few weeks your body will stink like a bag of rotten meat – which is essentially what it is. As a spirit you don’t have to shower, shave, brush your teeth, eat, go to work, pee or perform any of those nasty habits.

The 19th century German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 – 1860) said, “We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.”

So, forget all that stuff you were taught about “now I’m supposed to…”. Do what pleases you.”

_____________________

Excerpt from 1,001 Things To Do While You’re Dead: A Dead Persons’ Guide To Living, by Lawrence R. Spencer

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# 583 — OPERATE AN ORACLE SHRINE

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# 583   —  OPERATE AN ORACLE SHRINE

“An oracle is a spirit considered to be a source of wise counsel or prophetic opinion, predictions of the future, inspired by the gods. Oracles were portals through which the gods spoke directly to man.

There are a few easy steps to opening your own oracle temple.

1) find a location. This could be a cave, a temple, a shrine, a mountain top or any other place that seems “holy”.

2) hire a priestess to intercede between you and the supplicant.

3) train the priestess to listen to you and interpret your thoughts perfectly so she can relay them without alteration. After all, you don’t want your wisdom and good advice to be ruined by a bad translator.

4) have the priestess burn some incense.

5) advertise in the “personals” columns or put 3 X 5 index cards on bulletin boards in Laundromats with the following announcement:

“I, _________, (your name) the “great god (your name)” will be making predictions and precognitions at the (oracle temple location) between the hours of (evenings and week-ends are best) for the low, introductory offering price of ( a sheep, a goat, a bowl of grain, a basket of fruit, etc.).”

Then, sit back and get ready to hand out free advice to the teaming throngs.

Of course, if you can do some magic tricks or heal a few crippled people, this will help get your ratings up.  The good buzz about you will spread quickly.

Soon your name and your temple will be revered throughout the realm for thousands of years to come, or until it is outlawed and destroyed by a bunch of greedy, holier-than-thou priests.”

— Excerpt from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD, by Lawrence R. Spencer

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