Category Archives: 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD

MORE THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD

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# 879   BE A ZOMBIE.

“To do this you will need to go back to Earth, find a grave with a partially decomposed corpse and re-animate it. If you can do this successfully you will make Dr. Frankenstein very proud of you! You can also get a lot of acting jobs in Hollywood movies.

Of course, re-animation of dead tissue has been the ages old quest of mad scientists, priests, theologians, laboratory technicians, research biologists, Voodoo witch doctors, alchemists, and cryogenics preservation services.

The only reason it hasn’t been done before is because no self-respecting spirit will go anywhere near a decomposing body. Gross! And, of course, only a spiritual being can animate or re-animate anything.

Many, many credible people have been pronounced “medically dead” on an operating table by the most learned scientists. They cannot explain how or why the person suddenly sits up on the table and says, “I heard you guys talking about me while I was hovering above my body near the ceiling. I decided to come back because there are still a few things I would like to get done in this life”.

Another observation that has been repeatedly and continually overlooked by scientists, in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, is that the physical universe did not just “create itself” in a spontaneous,  primordial explosion of energy and matter. And, gods forbid that we embarrass them by asking the obvious question, “where did that energy and matter come from before it just decided to explode all by itself?”

One can certainly understand and applaud the scientific pendulum swing away from religious dogma and superstition toward empirical evidence, data analysis, experimentation and rational observation during the past few hundred years.

However, we may have gone too far toward the opposite extreme by denying the spirit and the obvious volition that a spiritual entity has as the source of animation we call life.

So far science has not animated a single molecule of inanimate matter.”

 

1001 Things To Do While You’re Dead (#359 and #360)

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1001_cover# 359 — GO TO HEAVEN.

This may be far more complicated that it sounds as there are hundreds, if not thousands, of definitions of “heaven” among the current citizens of Earth, not to mention the religions and mythology of extinct cultures.

Confusion, conflict and contradictions notwithstanding, let us assume that if you have managed the make it through your ordeal so far this may be your next move. In case there really is a “heaven”, go ahead and go there. You can always come back later if you don’t like it. (By the way, if you find out where heaven is, try to send us a sign.)

However, if it turns out that heaven is just a state of mind, don’t bother…we’ll find out when we die. Of course, by then, it will be too late. Either way, it won’t be your fault or your problem. We’re all responsible for our own Destiny…or not.

# 360 — GO TO HELL.

If you really do go to heaven it might turn out to be really boring.

Who could actually stand to live in a place that is eternally “nice”. Really…. Besides, chances are pretty good that you did enough “bad” stuff during your life on Earth that “they” won’t let you “in” to heaven anyway.

Besides, there may not actually be any heaven. So, if this turns of to be the situation, then what do you have to lose? However, if “hell” isn’t a “place” either, then you may have to go searching for it. If the only place you can find is Earth you have arrived. Welcome back, asshole!

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— Excerpt from the book “1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD”, by Lawrence R. Spencer

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS BOOK and the author, please visit this site:   http://booktour.com/author/33423

 

BEING ALONE

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“If you discover that you’re all alone in space and that you’re actually enjoying your newly discovered peace, calm, quiet and serenity, there are a few thousand other things you can do to amuse yourself.  Most likely, your greatest problem will be boredom: the #1 enemy for a spirit. If you lived on Earth very long you will already know that people are obsessed with NOT being bored.  However, this may not be a natural condition for spirits.”  

— Excerpt from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD by Lawrence R. Spencer

CUTENESS

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“…you may be thinking that you don’t really have any identity or personality without having a body. How will anyone recognize you without your body? Fortunately, bodies are a nickel a million. Five babies are born every second.  So, should you succumb to the ungodly urge to get a new baby body in order to feel a sense of personal identity, you will need to practice being cute.

The only reason people have babies – and keep them – is because they think babies are cute. The same principle applies to all living creatures. So, brush up on looking cute, making cute sounds, doing cute mannerisms, cute smiles, cute laughs, etc..  You’ll need to have your cute skills in top form when and if you get a new body.”

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— Excerpt from the book, 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD, by Lawrence R. Spencer

 

HALLOWEEN IS FOR DISEMBODIED BEINGS

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A “MUST READ” FOR HALLOWEEN…..This book is dedicated to all living beings who expect to die sometime and to all of the dead people who ever lived who may still be living somewhere, sometime, somehow. This book is also dedicated to all of the people who are living that may need some ideas about what to do with themselves after they die. Finally, this book is dedicated to all the people who will soon be living by virtue of one or more of the following circumstances: birth, rebirth, resurrection, reincarnation, transconfiguration, cryogenic resuscitation, invasion of alien beings, angels falling out of grace, an act of one or more gods, transformation or transmigration, arrival from a different time / space / universe / plane of existence, unimaginable others, Whoever you were, are, or will be, I trust that you will enjoy the “Rest of Eternity”.   — Lawrence R. Spencer

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1001 Things to Do While You're Dead | [Lawrence Spencer]

Listen to the AUDIOBOOK  — Narrated by Kendra Hoffman