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DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF!
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(Excerpt from the book 1,001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A Dead Person’s Guide To Living )
“VISIT A MATERNITY WARD.
If you finally change your mind and decide to go back to being a baby again, your best chances of getting a new baby body are at a maternity ward. Find a hospital building. Locate the newborn baby section. You may have to wait for a body that is not already occupied, or one that isn’t quite ready to hatch yet. This could take a while.
Or, you may be able to get one sooner by fighting off all the other disembodies beings who are hanging around the hospital trying to get a body for themselves. Why do you think babies cry and sleep so some much when they’re born? They had to kick a lot of disembodied asses to get a body. That’s why they are usually tired and cranky and have bruises, messy hair and blotchy skin!
REINCARNATE YOURSELF AS AN ANIMAL.
Theoretically, you can go back to Earth and inhabit the body of a human being. And, just as theoretically, you can go back to Earth an inhabit the body of a different kind of life form. This could be an interesting interlude.
Many small animals don’t live a long time, like rats and small birds. So, you might enjoy a short excursion as a creature of some kind. There are millions of species to choose from on land, in the air and in the oceans.
For convenience, here is a list of the Top 10 longest lived animals: rabbits – 28 years, bird-eating spiders – 28 years, dog – 29 years, cats – 38 years, goldfish – 43 years, horses – 62 years, birds – 60 to 118 years, elephants – 86 years, Koi fish – 226 years, Tortoise – 255 years!
If you decide to inhabit the body of a different life form you might want to consider their life style and eating habits before you choose.
For example, cats eat rats and mice. That could take some getting used to…. Some birds eat seeds, raw fish, frogs, bugs, garbage and road kill.
Silverback gorillas eat vegetation and they are strong enough to tear a man’s arms and legs off easily. Whales eat plankton, krill, squid, octopus and jellyfish. Dolphins are a fun species. They eat whole, raw fish – guts and all.
Anyway, there are a lot of options. Of course, human beings have been known to eat just about everything under the sun – including ALL of the items AND the animals listed above.”
PREVIEW and BUY THE BOOK …BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! 
![1001 Things to Do While You're Dead | [Lawrence Spencer]](https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ROhipKNuL._SL175_.jpg "1001 Things to Do While You're Dead | [Lawrence Spencer]")
A REAL HERO
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“An early description of the way contemporary culture is now full of re-creations and themed environments was provided by Umberto Eco. In a brilliant essay, Eco saw that we create these realistic fabrications in an effort to come up with something that is better than real — a description that is true of virtually all fiction and culture, which gives us things that are more exciting, more beautiful, more inspiring, more terrifying, and generally more interesting than what we encounter in everyday life. In his description of Disney, Eco also saw that behind the facades lurks a sales pitch. Put these ideas together and you have a succinct characterization of the age, which is forever offering us something that seems better than real in order to sell us something.” — Umberto Eco (born 5 January 1932 — ) is an Italian semiotician, essayist, philosopher, literary critic, and novelist.
This Is How Much It Costs to Own a Vagina: An Itemized List
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Given the national debate regarding birth control coverage, it’s increasingly clear that many people have no idea how much it costs it to own a vagina — folks are getting up in arms about the idea that the pill could set uninsured women back about $1000 a year, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s nothing. Do you even know just how much you’re shelling out for yours? Were you aware of the fact that in your 20s alone, you will spend over $26,000 on vaginal maintenance? Herewith, we do the math for you.
READ THE ENTIRE ITEMIZED LIST HERE: This Is How Much It Costs to Own a Vagina: An Itemized List.
