Stuff To Do While You’Re Dead |

# 359 — GO TO HEAVEN.

This may be far more complicated that it sounds as there are hundreds, if not thousands, of definitions of “heaven” among the current citizens of Earth, not to mention the religions and mythology of extinct cultures.

Confusion, conflict and contradictions notwithstanding, let us assume that if you have managed the make it through your ordeal so far this may be your next move. In case there really is a “heaven”, go ahead and go there. You can always come back later if you don’t like it. (By the way, if you find out where heaven is, try to send us a sign.)

However, if it turns out that heaven is just a state of mind, don’t bother…we’ll find out when we die. Of course, by then, it will be too late. Either way, it won’t be your fault or your problem. We’re all responsible for our own Destiny…or not.

# 360 — GO TO HELL.

If you really do go to heaven it might turn out to be really boring.

Who could actually stand to live in a place that is eternally “nice”. Really…. Besides, chances are pretty good that you did enough “bad” stuff during your life on Earth that “they” won’t let you “in” to heaven anyway.

Besides, there may not actually be any heaven. So, if this turns of to be the situation, then what do you have to lose? However, if “hell” isn’t a “place” either, then you may have to go searching for it. If the only place you can find is Earth you have arrived. Welcome back, asshole!

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— Excerpt from the book “1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD”, by Lawrence R. Spencer

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# 485 BE YOUNG FOREVER.

As a disembodied spirit you probably don’t show your age as much as you did when you were in a body. If you are an immortal spiritual being you are infinitely aged and will continue to be infinitely ageless.

There have been quite a few spiritual sages from the ancient east, like Buddha in India or Lao Tze in China, for example, who have contemplated the nature of the spirit. If the rumors are true, they were able to transcend the continual cycle of life, death and rebirth.

Apparently the process of birth, death and rebirth predisposes one to suffer from reoccurring amnesia so that one tends to forget the life just lived.

Part of this has to do with the loss of the body and possessions through which you established your identity while on Earth. When you lost your body and possessions you also felt as though you lost your “self” or your “identity”.

Conversely, if one does not identify oneself as their possessions or as their body, one is less likely to forget their actual, spiritual identity. Therefore, if you decide to go back to Earth to inhabit another body, for whatever reason, don’t forget that you are who you are – the same immortal spiritual being you’ve been for billions and billions of years.

# 749 AVOID OLD AGE.

One of the most unlovely disadvantages of owning and occupying a body made of meat is decay. Use of the euphemistic term “aging” does not diminish to reality that old bodies experience one or more of the following: chronic pain, general deterioration of function, loss of energy, loss of hair, accumulation of fat, loss of muscle strength, loss of eyesight, loss of teeth, loss of sexual desire, function (which is the main reason for getting the goddamned thing in the first place!) and loss of mental acuity which leads to emotional and spiritual anxiety.

Loss of friends and family who are expiring all around you leads to loneliness and grief. The final agony of death relieves the ordeal, but only if one does not fall for the temptation to return to Earth, yet again, and get another new body and start the whole process again.

Seriously, what kind of “all-knowing, all-seeing, all-telling, all powerful creator god” would think up anything as defective, temporary and fragile as a body made of meat? Why not biodegradable plastic bodies? Or stainless steel bodies? Or lightweight titanium bodies?

If you happen to meet “the god” while you’re dead please tell it/him/her/them this: “For Christ’s sake, if you’re going to create bodies, get it right next time! OK?!”

— Excerpts from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A DEAD PERSON’S GUIDE TO LIVING, by Lawrence R. Spencer

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1001 Things To Do While You’re Dead (#359 and #360)

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