Category Archives: POETIC NONSENSE

Poetry by Lawrence R. Spencer. Poetic nonsense by Lawrence R. Spencer and others. Haiku poems by Lawrence R. Spencer.

DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF!

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REINCARNATING...BE RIGHT BACK

(Excerpt from the book 1,001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A Dead Person’s Guide To Living )

VISIT A MATERNITY WARD.

If you finally change your  mind and decide to go back to being a baby again, your best chances of getting a new baby body are at a maternity ward. Find a hospital building. Locate the newborn baby section. You may have to wait for a body that is not already occupied, or one that isn’t quite ready to hatch yet. This could take a while.

Or, you may be able to get one sooner by fighting off all the other disembodies beings who are hanging around the hospital trying to get a body for themselves. Why do you think babies cry and sleep so some much when they’re born? They had to kick a lot of disembodied asses to get a body. That’s why they are usually tired and cranky and have bruises, messy hair and blotchy skin!

1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD

REINCARNATE YOURSELF AS AN ANIMAL.

Theoretically, you can go back to Earth and inhabit the body of a human being. And, just as theoretically, you can go back to Earth an inhabit the body of a different kind of life form. This could be an interesting interlude.

Many small animals don’t live a long time, like rats and small birds. So, you might enjoy a short excursion as a creature of some kind. There are millions of species to choose from on land, in the air and in the oceans.


For convenience, here is a list of the Top 10 longest lived animals: rabbits – 28 years, bird-eating spiders – 28 years, dog – 29 years, cats – 38 years, goldfish – 43 years, horses – 62 years, birds – 60 to 118 years, elephants – 86 years, Koi fish – 226 years, Tortoise – 255 years!

If you decide to inhabit the body of a different life form you might want to consider their life style and eating habits before you choose.

For example, cats eat rats and mice. That could take some getting used to…. Some birds eat seeds, raw fish, frogs, bugs, garbage and road kill.

Silverback gorillas eat vegetation and they are strong enough to tear a man’s arms and legs off easily. Whales eat plankton, krill, squid, octopus and jellyfish. Dolphins are a fun species. They eat whole, raw fish – guts and all.

Anyway, there are a lot of options. Of course, human beings have been known to eat just about everything under the sun – including ALL of the items AND the animals listed above.”

PREVIEW and BUY THE BOOK …BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!   Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

 

1001 Things to Do While You're Dead | [Lawrence Spencer]
AUDIOBOOK —  (UNABRIDGED) by Lawrence Spencer,  Narrated by Kendra Hoffman

A REAL HERO

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HONEST COWARDS

“An early description of the way contemporary culture is now full of re-creations and themed environments was provided by Umberto Eco.  In a brilliant essay, Eco saw that we create these realistic fabrications in an effort to come up with something that is better than real — a description that is true of virtually all fiction and culture, which gives us things that are more exciting, more beautiful, more inspiring, more terrifying, and generally more interesting than what we encounter in everyday life. In his description of Disney, Eco also saw that behind the facades lurks a sales pitch. Put these ideas together and you have a succinct characterization of the age, which is forever offering us something that seems better than real in order to sell us something.”  — Umberto Eco (born 5 January 1932 — ) is an Italian semiotician, essayist, philosopher, literary critic, and novelist.

“I GOT DEM (REINCARNATION) BLUES” — SONG WRITING CONTEST

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SONG WRITING CONTEST RULES:

1) Write and record music to go with the lyrics of  “I Got Dem (Reincarnation) Blues” .

2) Send an MP3 or video recording of your performance of the song to us at:   lrs@lawrencerspencer.com

3) The top 5 versions will be published.

4) Any and all sales proceeds will be donated to your favorite charity.

 

“I GOT DEM (REINCARNATION)  BLUES”

 

I got dem meat body,

don’t know how I got down,

musta’ got shot down,

stuck in my head, blues.

 

I got dem titty suckin’,

sleepin’, walkin’

growin’  and cryin’,

wet, shitty diaper, blues.

 

I got dem anticipatin’,

gotta be creatin’,

start new relations,

re-educatin’, blues.

 

I got dem groin hair growin’,

hormones a’ roarin’,

loins don’t stop achin, lusty sensations,

datin’, matin’, fornicatin’ blues.

 

I got dem eatin’ meat bodies,

army drilling’, rapin’ and pillagin’,

hamburger grillin’, can’t stop killin’,

don’t let ’em beat you, blues.

 

I got dem “now I’m supposed to”,

“be what I’m told to”,

“don’t be day-dreamin’ “,

“what’s it all meanin’ ?, blues.

 

I got dem go to work steady”,

raise up a family,

do what the boss says,

got to pay taxes”, blues.

 

I got dem “do what the preacher say”,

“wait till next pay day”,

“don’t matter anyway”,

“Be Good ’til Doomsday”, Blues.

 

I got dem can’t out-create,

ain’t safe to say,

family beratin’,

self-abnigatin’, blues.

 

I got dem “too late now”,

pains in my bones,

doctors don’t know,

gonna die soon, blues.

 

I got dem creepy worm eatin’,

don’t recall nothin’,

startin’ all over,

got to get me another meat body, blues.

REPEAT (ad infinitum)

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Lyrics by Lawrence R. Spencer. Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.