Category Archives: SHERLOCK HOLMES: MY LIFE

“I address this letter of introduction to the following monograph, written by my own hand. I have undertaken to commit this autobiographical revelation of the factual events of my life to writing, at the suggestion and encouragement of my best friend in the world, my brother Mycroft Holmes. The written record of my adventures as conveyed by Dr. John Hamish Watson, rather than myself, as you will read herein, are a fallacious perversion of the reality of my own identity and activities. – Sherlock Sherrinford Holmes”

A biography of Sherlock Holmes.

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V is for VEGGIE VAMPIRE

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“Count Dracula, and his kindred spirits, may be considered to be “evil” from the point of view of mankind.  However, apart from the prejudice of the human victims who do not desire to serve as food for others who drink their blood, the vampire can not be considered to be anything other than an immortal spiritual being, attempting to persist and survive in a quasi-corporeal form.

I esteem that there is only one principle difference between a human being who eats a roasted chicken or pork or beef, and a vampire who drinks the living blood of a human being.  That is, that the vampire, by consuming the living blood, derives a more sustainable form of energy than the man who eats the dead flesh of an animal.

The man who eats dead meat lives 65 years, his own spirit is confined inside a fragile piece of flesh, with little or no self-awareness regarding his potential capabilities as a spiritual entity. Whereas, the vampire, consuming only the living blood of its victim, maintains an extreme spiritual power and ability, as well as physical strength and longevity which borders upon immortality!

Who is to say which condition is more or less desirable? There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!

Yet, it is entirely understandable that men do not trouble themselves with grotesque speculations as to the nature of life beyond the grave.  They have enough to do in this world. Life is a beautiful thing. The man who appreciates its beauties enjoys a sufficient understanding of life without dabbling in religions or spiritualism.

Religion is a fraud which have been exposed a hundred times and yet priests continue to find fresh crowds of foolish devotees whose insane credulity and superstitious prejudice make them impervious to all rational arguments.  One can only leave them to seek destinations of their singular Fates, which they have been predetermined for them.

Unless we practice eternal vigilance against these vampires, we will continue to be afflicted and effected by the contagion of their parasitical insanity.  The vitality of every civilization which has crumbled into disrepair and dust was drained of life by these diabolical beings!”

— Excerpted from the book SHERLOCK HOLMES: MY LIFE, by Lawrence R. Spencer

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SYNOPSIS OF SHERLOCK HOLMES: MY LIFE

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Sherlock Holmes: My Life, is a memoir in which Sherlock Holmes discloses a conspiracy between Dr. Watson, who is proven to be a fraud, and his associate, Dr. Arthur Doyle, to publish his real life adventures as works of fiction. Sherlock solicits the very able assistance of his brother Mycroft Holmes, who is aided by the British Secret Information Services, to help him resolve the most infamous literary fraud in history!

Their investigation of the two Scottish doctors, together with several authors, publishers and politicians who collaborated with them, exposes the scam as well as the farcical claim to knighthood of “Sir” Arthur Doyle and his life as an opportunistic hoaxer.  The insidious plan of Watson and Doyle to erase the real person of Sherlock Holmes inadvertently unveils the true identity of Professor Moriarty.

The actual reasons for the disappearance of Mr. Holmes from public life, after his alleged “death” at the hands of Professor Moriarty in Switzerland, are disclosed for the first time.  While staying as a guest at The Diogenes Club, under the cover of a false identity, Mr. Holmes served for several years in the employment of the Office of The Chancellor of The Exchequer, of which Mycroft was the pre-eminent administrator.  During this singular period in his career Mr. Holmes encountered his most challenging cases.

Remarking retrospectively upon his diverse career during retirement, Mr. Holmes describes the most enigmatic, yet previously unrecorded, adventures of his life: encounters that influenced the literary creations of Charles Dodgson (author of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland), J.M. Barrie (author of Peter Pan), the American writer Mark Twain, as well as Bram Stoker (author of Dracula) and Robert Louis Stevenson (author of Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde).

Finally, Mr. Holmes confides intimate personal details of his concoction and use of alchemical potions, his family, and sexual preference. Philosophical reflections upon his past and future are expressed in several poignant personal letters, including one received from his friend the 13th Dalai Lama, and in a reply to an inquiry from the American science fiction writer H.P. Lovecraft.

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— An excerpt from the book: SHERLOCK HOLMES: MY LIFE —

“As it pertains to the case before us, as viewed through the perfect lens of hindsight, it is plain to me now that Watson has always treated me, as regards his writing, in a circumspect and covert manner.  Moreover, his constant  supplications to me for permission to publish ‘just one more case’, have often bordered upon beggary!”, I cried.

“I am quite certain that your intuition in the matter is accurate, though highly disturbing to me”, said Mycroft. “Have you never examined any of the published volumes of the stories written about your cases by Dr. Watson?”, he asked.

“No, I must admit that I have never bothered to acquire a single copy, nor has Dr. Watson ever brought a single volume of a published work home with him to Baker Street, now that you mention it?”, I replied, realizing to my own astonishment, the singular improbability of it, especially after so many volumes had been published, and over such a protracted number of years, is remarkable!

“I believe that an examination of the published works of Dr. Watson will add more clarity to our discovery of the facts”, Mycroft said pointedly  with his fork. “Let me be specific, my dear fellow.  Did you, by any chance, read the manuscript of the last of his stories about your investigations?  It is the case regarding the lost letter upon which your assistance was solicited by no less than the Prime Minister.  Watson fictionalized his name as ‘Lord Bellinger’, and that of the Secretary of Foreign Affairs, under the name of Trelawney Hope”.

These were not their actual names of course, as you are keenly aware. Rather, the gentlemen in question were none other than Robert Gascoyne-Cecil who thrice served as Prime Minister, and twice as the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs.  He was accompanied by the then reigning Prime Minister at the date of the incident, Arthur Balfour”.

I could not deny that the solution of this case was of singular gravity and import to the well-being of Britain.  Of course, Mycroft and his staff had been intimately associated, covertly, with attempts to recover the missing letter in that case.  However, I admitted that I had not seen that book, or any other for that matter, in published form.”

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