Category Archives: …and other stuff

miscellaneous postings by Lawrence R. Spencer

Excerpts from “An Open Letter From Sherlock Holmes”

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A biography of Sherlock Holmes, with a Foreword by Mycroft Homes

“To readers of the accounts of my investigatory cases:

“I have undertaken to commit this autobiographical revelation of the factual events of my life to writing, at the suggestion and encouragement of my best friend in the world, my brother Mycroft Holmes.”

The written record of my adventures as conveyed by Dr. John Hamish Watson, rather than myself, as you will read herein, are a fallacious perversion of the reality of my own identity and activities.”

You may recall that, at the end of the first published story of my detectives adventures, A Study in Scarlet, Watson was so impressed by my elegant handling of the case, and so incensed by Scotland Yard’s claiming full credit for its solution, that he exclaimed: “Your merits should be publicly recognized. You should publish an account of the case.  If you won’t, I will for you.”

Owing to my utter disinterest in self-proclamation, and my propensity toward the incessant pursuit of new mysteries to solve, my response to this proposal was, “You may do what you like, Doctor.”

Hence, Watson proceeded to write the story, which was represented as “a reprint from the reminiscences of John H. Watson”, or so I was led to assume.  None of the facts you will read herein have ever been surmised, supposed and imagined with respect to any of my adventures.  Indeed, the nature and identity of the dramatis personae on the stage of the intrigue I relate to you now have never before been revealed.

The challenges of this case were the most difficult I ever faced in my career.  Indeed, the formidable combination of investigation skills, information gathering, and persistence required the considerable energies of both myself and my dear brother, Mycroft, together with a legion of agents from the Office of The Chancellor of The Exchequer, as well as the Secret Information Services (SIS), whose resources were engaged upon the matter for several years.”

“Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence.”

I invite you to join this escapade, if you will indulge me, into my ultimate adventure.  Moreover, I trust that posterity will inherit some small benefit from these observations upon the volatile process, distillation and residue of my life.”

Sherlock Holmes

Sussex Downs, England”

___________________________________________

— Excerpted from “An Open Letter from Sherlock Holmes”, published in the book, “Sherlock Holmes: My Life”

REQUEST DRY WOOD

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For all you aspiring “terrorists” or “heretics’ (same thing), take some advice from people who learned from their predecessors during the gruesome history of “humanity”:

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Deliberately causing death through the effects of combustion has a long history as a form of capital punishment. Many societies have employed it as an execution method for crimes such as treason, heresy, and witchcraft. The particular form of execution by burning in which the condemned is bound to a large stake is more commonly called burning at the stake. Death by burning fell into disfavour amongst governments in the late 18th century.  (because more cost-effective methods were devised as the cost of wood increased).

Burning at the stake was popular in Catholic and Protestant lands. There were three methods of burning at the stake. In the first method, burning wood was piled around a stake driven into the earth. The prisoner hung from the stake from chains or iron hoops. In the second method (popular in punishing witches), the prisoner again hung from a stake, but this time the wood was piled high around the victim so the observers could not see her pain and suffering as she burned. In the third method (popular in Germany in the Nordic countries), the victim was tied to a ladder which was tied to a frame above the fire. The ladder was then swung down into the flames.

Law required that victims be strangled before burning at the stake, but many victims were deliberately burned alive. This violence was used as both punishment and warning, similar to the sacrificing of criminals in front of an audience at the Roman Colosseum.   Originally, burning at the stake was primarily used for women convicted of treason (men convicted of treason were hanged, drawn and quartered). Later, burning at the stake became a popular punishment for men and women accused of heresy or witchcraft.

The 16th and 17th centuries saw a which-hunt such as the world had never seen. Rumors spread like wildfire of people participating in wild witches’ Sabbats, the adoption of animal forms, and ritual cannibalism. Superstitious fear flung accusations everywhere, and the population lived in terror. As many as 200,000 people were burned at the stake for witchcraft during this time. Burning was believed to cleanse the soul, tantamount for those accused of witchcraft or heresy.

Henry the VIII’s daughter, Mary Tudor (“Bloody Mary”) gave birth to England’s most famous burnings at the stake. One of her victims was the sometime Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer, in 1556. During the course of Bloody Mary’s five year reign, she was responsible for 274 burnings. Her victims were condemned of heresy–being Protestant.

In the 17th century, during the Spanish Inquisition, burning at the stake was a popular choice for punishment since it did not spill the victim’s blood (the Roman Catholic Church forbade this). The burning meant the victim would have no body to take into the afterlife.  Burning at the stake began to fall out of favor in the 18th century when more “humane” methods of capital punishment rose.

Read a History of “Cripsy Critter Barbeque Techniques”  (burning at the stake) in this Wikipedia article:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_by_burning

BLEEP! BLEEP!

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big bleep coyote

The Big Bleep is the story of hard-boiled, Harley riding detective Sam Shovel, digging up the truth on a comedic, existential journey of self-realization. It digs deep into the opinions of plants and trees to explore a universe where a fictional characters become self-aware — just like in real life! And, it’s the only book that tells the truth about what REALLY happened to the Earth dinosaurs, and where Superheros go when they retire.

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