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Tag Archives: baby
CUTE BABY PICTURE
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“ATTEND YOUR OWN FUNERAL.
When your relatives or public officials get around to disposing of your used body you may choose to attend the funeral. This can be complicated, tedious and disturbing to yourself and other funeral guests. Or it can be a great comfort to you and your loved ones. It’s up to you.
If you are concerned that the used body is disposed of properly you should definitely attend to make sure your final wishes have been followed. You may also want to check to see who is really grieving over your absence, and who is only pretending so they can get a share of your estate, and who came for the free food and drinks.
Reverence for the dead is very important. Especially if you’re the one that is dead. One thing is certain – you will never think of funerals the same way again. If you care about what your relatives or the undertaker is going to do with your used body you will want to stay to the end. This includes the burial, cremation, sprinkling of the ashes, donation to the “used parts” laboratory, or whatever is supposed to be done with your used body.
If you plan ahead you can have your body buried in a vegetable garden, a forest, a flower bed, or fed to the fishes in the ocean. It’s a shame to let a perfectly good source of nutrition for plants or other living creatures go to waste!
AVOID YOUR FUNERAL.
If you are squeamish about autopsies, embalming, funeral piers, cremation incinerators, worms, bugs or bacteria you may want to stay away until all that messy, bad smelling business is over and done.
However, funeral directors have become quite masterful, over the past 5,000 years, at making a dead body look as good, or better, than it looked when it was alive. A little formaldehyde, a few strategic injections, a little stuffing, nice clothes, cosmetics, a wig and a comfy, silk-lined coffin, your used body can look better than ever!
This is a good reason to stay away as you may be enticed to start thinking about going back. Obviously, it’s too late. Factually, you never were a body and you definitely are not a body now. So stay focused. The future is where the rest of your life will be lived!
PRACTICE BEING CUTE.
If you attended your own funeral you are probably suffering from the loss of having a body. More important, you may be thinking that you don’t really have any identity or personality without having a body. How will anyone recognize you without your body?
Fortunately, bodies are a nickel a million. Five babies are born every second. So, should you succumb to the ungodly urge to get a new baby body in order to feel a sense of personal identity, you will need to practice being cute.
The only reason people have babies – and keep them – is because they think babies are cute. The same principle applies to all living creatures. So, brush up on looking cute, making cute sounds, doing cute mannerisms, cute smiles, cute laughs, etc.. You’ll need to have your cute skills in top form when and if you get a new body.”
— Excerpt from the book by Lawrence R. Spencer: 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: THE DEAD PERSONS GUIDE TO LIVING
ANOTHER LIFETIME
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The good news is that you get a new body. The bad news is that you get a new body.
FOR LOVE
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HOW TO PEPARE FOR YOUR REINCARNATION
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Everyone lives, everyone dies…and almost everyone is reincarnated, usually. Reincarnation planning is not socially acceptable in Western culture, where most people believe whatever they are told by priests and preachers, who don’t know anything at all about what happens when you die! However, many people in India, China and Tibet take the whole idea in stride. However, what very few people do is plan ahead for their next lifetime BEFORE they die!
So, if you are pretty sure you’re going to be coming back (again, and again, and again) as a newborn baby, here are a few common-sense suggestions to prepare everything so you will have a healthy, safe, sane, joyful and secure next lifetime.
The first thing you will need to find is a Mother and a Father. The Mother is much more important than the Father, so your most careful research must be to find a really good Mom!
A really good Mother should be a woman with the following qualities:
- Your New Mom must be very aware of the spiritual universe, and be very certain that she knows that you and she are both Immortal Spiritual Beings.
- Ideally, Your new Mom is someone you love, and trust and admire and desire to be with, and care for, for her entire lifetime, and yours.
- Your New Mom should be your very best friend, as you will be closer to her and depend upon her more than any other person in the world.
- She should be wise, educated, and cultured, physically fit and strong.
- She should be a great cook, and know how to grow her own organic vegetables.
- She must be a great dancer, artist, and music lover.
- Your New Mom should be willing and able to communicate with you about anything.
- She should be an intelligent teacher, a good listener and a student of wisdom and a seeker of Truth.
- Most of all, Your New Mom should be full of Joy and Love and Compassion for all living creatures, especially You!
- It is also very nice if Your New Mom has perfect breasts! (This makes feeding time much more pleasurable.)
Once you have found and created a loving relationship with Your New Mom (before you die, of course) there are a few practical matters to take care of:
- You must go to live near Your New Mom, so that you and she will be able to find each other when you depart from your old body. You will be a disembodied spiritual being, so you must be very, very certain that you know where she is when you die! Ideally, Your New Mom will already be pregnant when you leave your old body, so you don’t have to hang around waiting for your next body to be born!
- If possible, Your New Mom and Father will have a very stable, loving, sensible relationship! Having a really good Mom and Father is a huge bonus! You New Dad should be strong, intelligent, athletic, educated, compassionate and fun loving. It will help if he likes kids too!
- Your New Mom should live in a safe, quite, clean and beautiful natural environment where you and she can have a happy life together!
Next, get your legal and financial affairs in order. Instead of leaving all your hard earned money from this lifetime to your ungrateful kids or your lawyer, plan to leave everything to YOURSELF so you can enjoy it in you Next Lifetime!
- Arrange your Last Will and Testament to bequeath your money, property, assets, insurance benefits, investments, and any other valuable goods to Your New Mom. (If, for any reason, your new parents get divorced you will want Your Mom to have the money to support BOTH of you, so she doesn’t have to go to work for a living, and take you to a stupid day care center or public school!)
- Make sure Your New Mom has copies of all your legal documents, and financial documents BEFORE you leave the body.
Now, give Your New Mom a number of your special, personal possessions, photographs, and your personal memorabilia to keep for you. When you enter into you next body at birth, you will be able to identify these objects. This will be “proof” that you and Your New Mom can use to verify that YOU and really YOU! (The Llamas of Tibet use this trick to identify their fellow Llamas after death and rebirth.)
When the Blessed Event of Your Reincarnation draws near, leave your body as painlessly as possible, and hang out with Your New Mom until your Birthday comes! ( Read the book “1,001 Things To Do While You’re Dead” ) for handy tips about things to do while your waiting for your next body to be born.
Finally, swoop down into the body, assume complete responsibility for it, and for Your New Mom, and begin enjoying your Next Life!