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Category Archives: LOUD ZOO
WISH YOU WERE HERE
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SHARK SANITY
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“sanity” = noun: normal or sound powers of mind
normal = adjective: being approximately average or within certain limits in e.g. intelligence and development
norm = noun: a standard or model or pattern regarded as typical
Example: The normal or typical amount of food required by great white sharks is equivalent to eating one seal puppy every three days.
CONCLUSION: A “sane” shark may eat one seal puppy every three days.
WAYS TO MAINTAIN HEALTHY INSANITY AT WORK
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1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Sexual Favors”
7. Finish All Your Sentences With “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
8. Don’t Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party because You’re Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling
“Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
20. Copy this and Send an E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.. It’s Called Therapy…
THEORY
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a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, especially one based on general principles independent of the thing to be explained.“Darwin’s theory of evolution”
synonyms: hypothesis, thesis, conjecture, supposition, speculation, postulation, postulate, proposition, premise, surmise, assumption, presupposition; More opinion, view, belief, contention“I reckon that confirms my theory”principles, ideas, concepts;philosophy, ideology, system of ideas, science“modern economic theorya set of principles on which the practice of an activity is based.“a theory of education”an idea used to account for a situation or justify a course of action.“There are as many theories as their are opinions”. — LRS


