Category Archives: FREE ADVICE

Free Advice about Life, Universe and Other Stuff from Lawrence R. Spencer

MARK TWAIN: COMMENTS ON THE HUMAN RACE

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Are the comments made about the human race more than 100 years ago by Mark Twain intended to be humorous, sarcastic or serious?

Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)  was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), the latter often called “The Great American Novel“.

“Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn’t something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity; He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly–a lark which must have cost him a regret or two when He came to think it over & observe effects.” – Letter to William Dean Howells, 25 January 1900

“As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of all the inventions of all the gods but it has never suspected it once. There is nothing prettier than its naive and complacent appreciation of itself. It comes out frankly and proclaims without bashfulness or any sign of a blush that it is the noblest work of God. It has had a billion opportunities to know better, but all signs fail with this ass. I could say harsh things about it but I cannot bring myself to do it–it is like hitting a child.” — Autobiographical dictation, 25 June 1906

“We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God’s beloved vermin to scoff at each other… Oh, we are a nasty little lot–& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won’t happen if I have any influence.” — Letter to William Dean Howells, 2 April 1899

 “Can any plausible excuse be furnished for the crime of creating the human race?” — from The New York Times, “Hartford Museum Purchases Barrels Full of Twain’s Old Books,” July 31, 1997

PSYCHOPATHOLOGY and THE 1%

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“Those that seek to own us want us at each others throats rather than united at theirs.”  ~ Arnie Lerma

In this video a “Occupy Wall Street” activist explains the  fundamental connection between psychopathology and the ruling 1%, based on the book Political Ponerology: A Science on the Nature of Evil Adjusted for Political Purposes by Andrew M. Lobaczewski.

(All Credits John Galt Films, Inc.)

AESTHETIC SOLITARY

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Henry James, OM (15 April 1843 – 28 February 1916) was an American-born British writer. He is regarded as one of the key figures of 19th-century literary realism.

His secretary remarked in her monograph Henry James at Work:   ‘When he walked out of the refuge of his study and into the world and looked around him, he saw a place of torment, where creatures of prey perpetually thrust their claws into the quivering flesh of doomed, defenseless children of light … His novels are a repeated exposure of this wickedness, a reiterated and passionate plea for the fullest freedom of development, unimperiled by reckless and barbarous stupidity.”

# 583 — OPERATE AN ORACLE SHRINE

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# 583   —  OPERATE AN ORACLE SHRINE

“An oracle is a spirit considered to be a source of wise counsel or prophetic opinion, predictions of the future, inspired by the gods. Oracles were portals through which the gods spoke directly to man.

There are a few easy steps to opening your own oracle temple.

1) find a location. This could be a cave, a temple, a shrine, a mountain top or any other place that seems “holy”.

2) hire a priestess to intercede between you and the supplicant.

3) train the priestess to listen to you and interpret your thoughts perfectly so she can relay them without alteration. After all, you don’t want your wisdom and good advice to be ruined by a bad translator.

4) have the priestess burn some incense.

5) advertise in the “personals” columns or put 3 X 5 index cards on bulletin boards in Laundromats with the following announcement:

“I, _________, (your name) the “great god (your name)” will be making predictions and precognitions at the (oracle temple location) between the hours of (evenings and week-ends are best) for the low, introductory offering price of ( a sheep, a goat, a bowl of grain, a basket of fruit, etc.).”

Then, sit back and get ready to hand out free advice to the teaming throngs.

Of course, if you can do some magic tricks or heal a few crippled people, this will help get your ratings up.  The good buzz about you will spread quickly.

Soon your name and your temple will be revered throughout the realm for thousands of years to come, or until it is outlawed and destroyed by a bunch of greedy, holier-than-thou priests.”

— Excerpt from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD, by Lawrence R. Spencer

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