Category Archives: FREE ADVICE

Free Advice about Life, Universe and Other Stuff from Lawrence R. Spencer

ART, FREE ADVICE, THE OZ FACTORS

THE FUTURE IS AN EXTENSION OF THE PRESENT

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mind on fireThe Oz Factors, by Lawrence R. Spencer“The history of mankind seems blanketed in a simultaneous state of amnesia and deja vu. The ruins of ancient civilizations whisper a reminder that we have forgotten everything we knew.

A multitude of gods have shown themselves like shadows in the halls of history. We know not yet, except by our own observation and decision, which of them is real. We are betrayed by those who teach us that we must trust the Wizards of the West. While pretentious politicians defend the castles of the Witch, the media monkeys swarm to spin perverted lies to cover up their covert tricks.

The voiceless bones of wonderful wizards have dissolved to mortal dust once more. Their words have vanished in the smoke of sacred libraries, searing our souls with the stupefying stench of wisdom lost forever in their flames. From day to day the timeworn treadmill of survival forces us to worship at the soulless bankers’ shrine. Gold is still the god of the great and powerful Oz.

The future is an extension of the present. We must live our lives in the present in a manner which will create the greatest good for the greatest number of beings in the future. If we are aware of our own past lives, we must also be aware that we are creating our own future by our present actions. We will inherit our own legacy.”

~ excerpt from The Oz Factors  Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

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THINK (ING) ABOUT SEX (UAL) (IN) ACT (IVITY)

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“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” — George Burns

“I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.” (Scott Roeben)
“Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn’t had enough gratuitous sex.” (Geoff Spear)
“I love sex. It’s free and doesn’t require special shoes.” (Anonymous)
“Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing.” (Charles Bukowski)
“Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation, I have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather like an Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite.” (Germaine Greer)
“I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.” (Anonymous)
“For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches.” (Stacy Nelkin)
“Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes.” (Marilyn Sokol)
“During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.” (Richard Lewis)
“There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.” (Norman Mailer)
“The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.” (Scott Roeben)
“It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.” (Mae West)
“There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.” (Lewis Grizzard)
“For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.” (Quentin Crisp)
“Nothing makes you forget about love like sex.” (Staci Beasley)
“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.” (Anonymous) sexandsingle.jpg “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.” (Kevin Costner, Tin Cup)
“I’m a great lover, I’ll bet.” (Emo Philips)
“Just saying ‘no’ prevents teenage pregnancy the way ‘Have a nice day’cures chronic depression.” (Faye Wattleton)
“I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.” (Leslie Nielsen)
“I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she’d brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.” (Scott Roeben)
“Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that’s not the reason we’re doing it.” (Richard Feynman)
“Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.” (Phyllis Diller)
“One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.” (Jane Austen)
“If sex doesn’t scare the cat, you’re not doing it right.” (Anonymous)
“Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.” (Garrison Keillor)
“I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.” (Tallulah Bankhead)

via Miss Cellania