Category Archives: 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD

THOUGHTS ABOUT DEATH BY DEAD PEOPLE BEFORE THEY DIED

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FROM THE PREFACES TO THE BOOK   1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A DEAD PERSON’S GUIDE TO LIVING —

“I wonder if I could have been here before? As I drive up the Roman road the theater seems familiar. Perhaps I headed a legion up that same white road… I passed a chateau in ruins which I possibly helped escalade in the Middle Ages. There is no proof nor yet any denial.  We were, We are, and We will be.”

— General George S. Patton

“Eternity is not something that begins after you’re dead. It is going on all the time. We are in it now.”

— Charlotte Perkins Gilman

“After your death you will be what you were before your birth.”

— Arthur Schopenhauer

“I look upon death to be as necessary to our constitution as sleep. We shall rise refreshed in the morning.”

— Benjamin Franklin

“That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange eons even Death may die.”

— H.P. Lovecraft

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WHO ARE THE REAL VAMPIRES?

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A Vampire is an Immortal Spiritual Being.  He or she cannot die.  Yet, they cannot inhabit a living human body either.  They are conceived to be dependent on beings who inhabit living bodies.  Vampires worship and covet  human bodies.  Their depraved state of being includes the notion that “only beings who have a body can have a real life”.  The idea that a disembodied spirit needs to drink the blood of a living human in order to have energy and longevity is part of the mythology about Spiritual Beings invented by priests attempting to frighten people away from disembodied spirits! PRIESTS do not want people to communicate with spirits!  If you communicated with spirits directly, like gods and ghosts, priests would lose their power, wealth and control over you!

Of course, an Immortal Spirit is Immortal with or without a body.  Learn more about how to live without a body in my book:  1,001 Things To Do While You’re Dead.

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READ MORE ABOUT VAMPIRES ON WIKIPEDIA.ORG:

Tales of supernatural beings consuming the blood or flesh of the living have been found in nearly every culture around the world for many centuries. Today, we would associate these entities with vampires, but in ancient times, the term vampire did not exist; blood drinking and similar activities were attributed to demons or spirits who would eat flesh and drink blood; even the Devil was considered synonymous with the vampire. Almost every nation has associated blood drinking with some kind of revenant or demon, or in some cases a deity.

Ancient Greek and Roman mythology described the Empusae, the Lamia,and the Striges. Over time the first two terms became general words to describe witches and demons respectively. They were described as having the bodies of crows or birds in general, and were later incorporated into Roman mythology as strix, a kind of nocturnal bird that fed on human flesh and blood.

Vampires are mythological or folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of living creatures, regardless of whether they are undead or a living person/being.Although vampiric entities have been recorded in many cultures, and may go back to “prehistoric times”,the term vampire was not popularized until the early 18th century, after an influx of vampire superstition into Western Europe from areas where vampire legends were frequent, such as the Balkans and Eastern Europe, although local variants were also known by different names, such as vrykolakas in Greece and strigoi in Romania. This increased level of vampire superstition in Europe led to mass hysteria and in some cases resulted in corpses actually being staked and people being accused of vampirism.

While even folkloric vampires of the Balkans and Eastern Europe had a wide range of appearance ranging from nearly human to bloated rotting corpses, it was interpretation of the vampire by the Christian Church and the success of vampire literature, namely John Polidori‘s 1819 novella The Vampyre that established the archetype of charismatic and sophisticated vampire; it is arguably the most influential vampire work of the early 19th century, inspiring such works as Varney the Vampire and eventually Dracula. The Vampyre was itself based on Lord Byron‘s unfinished story “Fragment of a Novel,  published in 1819.

However, it is Bram Stoker‘s 1897 novel Dracula that is remembered as the quintessential vampire novel and which provided the basis of modern vampire fiction. Dracula drew on earlier mythologies of werewolves and similar legendary demons and “was to voice the anxieties of an age”, and the “fears of late Victorian patriarchy“.The success of this book spawned a distinctive vampire genre, still popular in the 21st century, with books, films, video games, and television shows.

WHISTLIN’ PAST THE GRAVEYARD

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Whistling Past The Graveyard, by Tom Waits. (Covered by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins)

“Well I come in on a night train
with an arm full of box cars
on the wings of a magpie
cross a hooligan night
and I busted up a chifforobe
way out by the cocomo
cooked up a mess a mulligan
and got into a fight.

Whistlin’ past the graveyard
steppin’ on a crack
i’m a mean motherhubbard
papa one eyes jack.

You probably seen me sleepin’
out by the railroad tracks
go on and ask the prince of darkness
what about all thet smoke
come from the stack
sometimes I kill myself a jackel
suck out all the blood
steal myself a stationwagon
drivin’ through the mud
whistlin’ past the graveyard
steppin’ on a crack
I’m mean motherhubbard
papa one-eyed jack.

I know you seen my headlights
and the honkin’ of my horn
I’m callin’ out my bloodhounds
chase the devil through the corn
last night I chugged the mississippi
now that suckers dry as a bone
born in a taxi cab
I’m never comin’ home

whistlin’ past the graveyard
steppin’ on a crack
I’m mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

myeyes have seen the glory
of the drainin’ og the ditch
Ionly come to baton rouge
to find myself a witch
I’m-mona snatch me up a
couple of em every time itrains
you see a locomotive
probably thinkin’ its a train

whistlin’ past the graveyard
steppin’ on a crack
I’m a mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack.

what you think is the sunshine
is just a twinkle in my eye
that ring around my fingers
just the 4th of july
when I get a little bit lonesome
and a tear falls from my check
theres gonna be an ocean in
the middle of the week.

whistlin’ past the graveyard
steppin’ on a crack
i’m mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

I rode into town on a night train
with an arm full of box cars
on the wings of a magpie
cross a hooligan night
i’m-ona tear me off a rainbow
and wear it for a tie
I never told the truth
so I can never tell a lie

whistlin’ past the graveyard
steppin’ on a crack
I’m mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack.

A DEAD PERSON’S GUIDE TO LIVING

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This book is dedicated to all living beings who expect to die sometime and to all of the dead people who ever lived who may still be living somewhere, sometime, somehow. This book is also dedicated to all of the people who are living that may need some ideas about what to do with themselves after they die. Finally, this book is dedicated to all the people who will soon be living by virtue of one or more of the following circumstances: birth, rebirth, resurrection, reincarnation, transconfiguration, cryogenic resuscitation, invasion of alien beings, angels falling out of grace, an act of one or more gods, transformation or transmigration, arrival from a different time / space / universe / plane of existence, unimaginable others, Whoever you were, are, or will be, I trust that you will enjoy the “Rest of Eternity”.   — Lawrence R. Spencer

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