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DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF!

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REINCARNATING...BE RIGHT BACK

(Excerpt from the book 1,001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A Dead Person’s Guide To Living )

“VISIT A MATERNITY WARD.

If you finally change your  mind and decide to go back to being a baby again, your best chances of getting a new baby body are at a maternity ward. Find a hospital building. Locate the newborn baby section. You may have to wait for a body that is not already occupied, or one that isn’t quite ready to hatch yet. This could take a while.

Or, you may be able to get one sooner by fighting off all the other disembodies beings who are hanging around the hospital trying to get a body for themselves. Why do you think babies cry and sleep so some much when they’re born? They had to kick a lot of disembodied asses to get a body. That’s why they are usually tired and cranky and have bruises, messy hair and blotchy skin!

1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD

REINCARNATE YOURSELF AS AN ANIMAL.

Theoretically, you can go back to Earth and inhabit the body of a human being. And, just as theoretically, you can go back to Earth an inhabit the body of a different kind of life form. This could be an interesting interlude.

Many small animals don’t live a long time, like rats and small birds. So, you might enjoy a short excursion as a creature of some kind. There are millions of species to choose from on land, in the air and in the oceans.


For convenience, here is a list of the Top 10 longest lived animals: rabbits – 28 years, bird-eating spiders – 28 years, dog – 29 years, cats – 38 years, goldfish – 43 years, horses – 62 years, birds – 60 to 118 years, elephants – 86 years, Koi fish – 226 years, Tortoise – 255 years!

If you decide to inhabit the body of a different life form you might want to consider their life style and eating habits before you choose.

For example, cats eat rats and mice. That could take some getting used to…. Some birds eat seeds, raw fish, frogs, bugs, garbage and road kill.

Silverback gorillas eat vegetation and they are strong enough to tear a man’s arms and legs off easily. Whales eat plankton, krill, squid, octopus and jellyfish. Dolphins are a fun species. They eat whole, raw fish – guts and all.

Anyway, there are a lot of options. Of course, human beings have been known to eat just about everything under the sun – including ALL of the items AND the animals listed above.”

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1001 Things to Do While You're Dead | [Lawrence Spencer]
AUDIOBOOK —  (UNABRIDGED) by Lawrence Spencer,  Narrated by Kendra Hoffman
...and other stuff, 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, ART, FREE ADVICE, LIVES, PICTURE POEMS, POETIC NONSENSE, READING MATTER, UNIVERSES

THE LIGHT

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TOWARD THE LIGHT

“GO TOWARD THE LIGHT!

A lot of people (including a long list of living and dead celebrities) who were pronounced “medically dead” said that they had a “near death experience”.  Another common report is that they were immediately “drawn” toward a bright light. For a variety of reasons they decided, or where “told” by another disembodied spirit, to go back to the body. After they returned, the body “came back to life”, and they lived happily ever after – at least until they died again and did NOT come back again. At that time, one assumes they decided to go toward the light and that they did NOT come back, as far as we know.1001_cover

STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!

Those people decided to stay away from the light and go back to their body. They lived long enough to tell someone about the experience. So, if you want to continue living with a body, this would be the most likely option for you. Otherwise, option #1 is still available, although not necessarily recommended.

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FOOTNOTE:

Peter Sellers was the comic genius of a generation of actors. He brought brilliant characterizations to numerous films, including “The Mouse That Roared” (1959), “Dr. Strangelove” (1964), “The Pink Panther” (1964), and “Being There” (1979). He was known for his enthusiastic way of totally absorbing himself in his characters, even carrying roles offstage. He also suffered from sad moods between films. While he knew his characters thoroughly, he said that he really did not know who he was. Then Peter Sellers, the brilliant, confused actor, had a near-death experience.

BEING THERESeated in a Hollywood mockup of a limousine’s back seat while shooting his last great film, “Being There“, he told Shirley MacLaine about his near-death experience, astonished that she did not consider him “bonkers.” Shirley documents their conversation in her book, Out on a Limb. In 1964, during the first of a rapid series of eight heart attacks, when his heart stopped and he was clinically dead, he had an out-of-body experience and saw the bright, loving light:

“Well, I felt myself leave my body. I just floated out of my physical form and I saw them cart my body away to the hospital. I went with it … I wasn’t frightened or anything like that because I was fine; and it was my body that was in trouble.”

The doctor saw that he was dead and massaged his heart vigorously, Meanwhile: “I looked around myself and I saw an incredibly beautiful bright loving white light above me. I wanted to go to that white light more than anything. I’ve never wanted anything more. I know there was love, real love, on the other side of the light which was attracting me so much. It was kind and loving and I remember thinking “That’s God.””

Peter’s out-of-body soul tried to elevate itself toward the light, but he fell short: “Then I saw a hand reach through the light. I tried to touch it, to grab onto it, to clasp it so it could sweep me up and pull me through it.” But just then his heart began beating again, and at that instant the hand’s voice said: “It’s not time. Go back and finish. It’s not time.” As the hand receded he felt himself floating back down to his body, waking up bitterly disappointed.

What effect did his near-death experience have on Sellers? His biographer says that “The act of “dying” became for Peter Sellers the most important experience of his life.” Sellers said of death: “I’ll never fear it again.” Family and friends found him more spiritual and reflective than before.”

— excerpted from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A DEAD PERSONS GUIDE TO LIVING