Category Archives: POETIC NONSENSE

Poetry by Lawrence R. Spencer. Poetic nonsense by Lawrence R. Spencer and others. Haiku poems by Lawrence R. Spencer.

...and other stuff, 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, ART, FREE ADVICE, INSIDE THE BOOK, POETIC NONSENSE, UNIVERSES

CUTENESS COSTUME

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This Halloween, practice being cute….it may be a handy skill to have while you’re dead….

Excerpt from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A DEAD PERSONS’ GUIDE TO LIVING —

“ATTEND YOUR OWN FUNERAL.

When your relatives or public officials get around to disposing of your used body you may choose to attend the funeral. This can be complicated, tedious and disturbing to yourself and other funeral guests. Or it can be a great comfort to you and your loved ones. It’s up to you.

If you are concerned that the used body is disposed of properly you should definitely attend to make sure your final wishes have been followed. You may also want to check to see who is really grieving over your absence, and who is only pretending so they can get a share of your estate, and who came for the free food and drinks.

Reverence for the dead is very important. Especially if you’re the one that is dead. One thing is certain – you will never think of funerals the same way again. If you care about what your relatives or the undertaker is going to do with your used body you will want to stay to the end. This includes the burial, cremation, sprinkling of the ashes, donation to the “used parts” laboratory, or whatever is supposed to be done with your used body.

If you plan ahead you can have your body buried in a vegetable garden, a forest, a flower bed, or fed to the fishes in the ocean. It’s a shame to let a perfectly good source of nutrition for plants or other living creatures go to waste!

AVOID YOUR FUNERAL.

If you are squeamish about autopsies, embalming,  funeral piers, cremation incinerators, worms, bugs or bacteria you may want to stay away until all that messy, bad smelling business is over and done.

However, funeral directors have become quite masterful, over the past 5,000 years, at making a dead body look as good, or better, than it looked when it was alive. A little formaldehyde, a few strategic injections, a little stuffing, nice clothes, cosmetics, a wig and a comfy, silk-lined coffin, your used body can look better than ever!

This is a good reason to stay away as you may be enticed to start thinking about going back. Obviously, it’s too late. Factually, you never were a body and you definitely are not a body now. So stay focused. The future is where the rest of your life will be lived!

PRACTICE BEING CUTE.

If you attended your own funeral you are probably suffering from the loss of having a body. More important, you may be thinking that you don’t really have any identity or personality without having a body. How will anyone recognize you without your body?

Fortunately, bodies are a nickel a million. Five babies are born every second.  So, should you succumb to the ungodly urge to get a new baby body in order to feel a sense of personal identity, you will need to practice being cute.

The only reason people have babies – and keep them – is because they think babies are cute. The same principle applies to all living creatures. So, brush up on looking cute, making cute sounds, doing cute mannerisms, cute smiles, cute laughs, etc..  You’ll need to have your cute skills in top form when and if you get a new body.”

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INVOCATION OF THE GODS

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Invocation of the gods

“Where upon Olympus stand the gods who once ruled over Man?  Fallen from the Lofty Land to dwell on Earth as mortal men?

Who remembers how to fly as freeborn spirits through the sky? What powers can be exercised while trapped within a mortal guise?

The gods once caused themselves to bring The Breath of Life itself to being.  Their very thoughts made every thing: the sea, a sigh, the sky, the spring!

The Gods of Old, like you & me, created everything we see. Have they lost causality?  Abandoned their abilities?

Where are the gods of history?  What happened to their memory? If we are them and they are we, who will cause our destiny?

Merchant Lords now rule the fold. They want us all to fit their mold: “Be a Man!  Do as you’re told!  The only god there is, is gold!”

How did we ever sink so low, pretending we don’t really know that we’re the spark that makes life grow, like springtime flowers through the snow?

Infinity is passing by, but time is really just a lie. Are we immortal, you and I?  A question states its own reply…

We never really know we’re blind until we search around to find a simple way to leave behind the suffering that is Mankind.

Can godly powers be regained, like oceans fall to Earth as rain? Can we go back from whence we came, to greater heights and bigger games?

Lead us homeward once again, to realms beyond the dreams of men. We’ve gone astray, we’ve lost our ken*.  We need your help, Immortal Friends!”

— Lawrence R. Spencer

*ken = perception; understanding, range of vision, view; sight.

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SEARCHING FOR CALVIN & HOBBES

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CALVIN & HOBBES SEARCH

If you are a fan of the greatest cartoon series every created, “CALVIN and HOBBES”, you will enjoy this great tool!  You can search the entire database of Calvin and Hobbes cartoon by Key Word.  Thanks to Bill Watterson for the amazing cartoons, and to Michael Yingling for the search engine!

http://michaelyingling.com/random/calvin_and_hobbes/

Bill Waterson thenCalvin and Hobbes is a daily comic strip that was written and illustrated by American cartoonist Bill Watterson, and syndicated from November 18, 1985, to December 31, 1995. It follows the humorous antics of Calvin, a precocious, mischievous, and adventurous six-year-old boy, and Hobbes, his sardonic stuffed tiger. The pair are named after John Calvin, a 16th-century French Reformation theologian, and Thomas Hobbes, a 17th-century English political philosopher.At the height of its popularity, Calvin and Hobbes was featured in over  2,400 newspapers worldwide. Nearly 45 million copies of the 18 Calvin and Hobbes books have been sold.  Calvin and Hobbes is set in the contemporary United States in an unspecified suburban area. The strip depicts Calvin’s flights of fantasy and his friendship with Hobbes, and also examines Calvin’s relationships with family and classmates. Hobbes’ dual nature is a defining motif for the strip: To Calvin, Hobbes is a live anthropomorphic tiger; all the other characters see him as an inanimate stuffed toy. Calvin and Hobbes

 

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UNDERSTANDING

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KNOWLEDGE & ABILITY

( Image by Cameron Gray )

Question your own knowledge.
If you do not do so, then you will not learn.
A person who believes they know everything will never ask a question.
This is more than death.
Begin where you are, with the abilities you have now.
Try to gain more of these abilities. Especially understandings.
Real understanding, like imagination, requires high concentration.
When we really understand something, we know it is true.
Ability is not a Destination.
Knowledge is a Journey.

—  Lawronia —