Tag Archives: sex

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PARTS OF A RELATIONSHIP

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PARTS OF A RELATIONSHIP

Recently, I’ve thought a lot about the subject of “relationships”, in an attempt to live my own life on Earth.  One of the most joyful and agonizing experiences in existence is the successful creation and maintenance of a “relationship”.   It is easy enough to withdraw from relationships and simply give up on them because they can be painful, confusing, frustrating and a lot of hard work!   In human society it is very commonly the source of turmoil, destruction and unhappiness.  If anyone has any more ideas about how to have a successful relationship, I’d like to know….

Here are a few definitions that I think are the most important parts of a “relationship”, in relative order of importance:

RELATIONSHIP

noun:   a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection)

COMMUNICATION

  • noun:   a connection allowing access between persons or places

UNDERSTANDING

  • noun:   an inclination to support or be loyal to or to agree with an opinion

  • noun:   the statement (oral or written) of an exchange of promise

  • adjective:   characterized by understanding based on comprehension and discernment and empathy

RESPONSIBILITY

  • noun:   a form of trustworthiness; the trait of being answerable to someone for something or being responsible for one’s conduct

  • noun:   the social force that binds you to your obligations and the courses of action demanded by that force

FREEDOM

  • noun:   the condition of being free; the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints

  • noun:   immunity from an obligation or duty

WISDOM

  • noun:   accumulated knowledge or erudition or enlightenment

REALITY

  • noun:   the state of the world as it really is rather than as you might want it to be

LOVE

  • noun:   any object of warm affection or devotion

SEX

  • noun:   all of the feelings resulting from the urge to gratify sexual impulses

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DRUGS, SEX AND INSURANCE

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Every 3rd commercial you see on TV is for “dick pills”, or Life Insurance.  I’ve often wondered if all this expensive advertising is a conspiracy between women, the pharmaceutical industry and life insurance companies to cash in on sex as a way to boost sales.  Also, it’s a smart and legal way to get rid of the Old Man, and live happily ever after collecting on the Life Insurance policy when the old f*cker is dead, long, long after menopause and the total cessation of sexual desire.  By the way, my own father died of a heart attack at the age of 78 while having sex with my mother.  (true story.)

Here’s an advertisement I made up to warn men about my “Drugs, Sex and Insurance Conspiracy Theory”:

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PREPARE TO DIE, MOTHERF***KERS!

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What kind of sick perverts approve “slaughter for fun” as games for children, and prohibit them from seeing the pleasure of a child being conceived?
A government run by psychopathic killers!  If you are supporting the psychopathic perverts (lawmakers) that authorized the sale of video games that feature warfare and slaughter, you will killed by the same morons that love to kill for a living: war profiteers and soldiers.  Prepare to die a violent death motherf***kers!

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A NOTE ON THE HUMAN SPECIES

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“An Atomic Bomb is to the Macrocosm what the ‘Birth Bomb’ is to the Microcosm. Fusion of sexual reproduction is ignited by a chemical stimulant that triggers a chain reaction of cellular division, replication and programmed growth of an organism capable of being occupied, animated, or endowed with Life, and operated by a spiritual entity.  — from The 423rd Standard Edition of The Mortality Mechanic’s Maintenance Manual, Chapter 326.78, Bipedal Biological Replication, Section 42, Paragraph 17, Item 30. Published by Mortality Mechanic’s Collective Press, Chaldaron II, Galaxy Prime Ninety-Two. Reprint Rights Reserved Upon Pain of Death by Decree of The Principle Magistrate of Mortality Maintenance, His Haughty Magnificence, Lord Flemmon-Arth-Mordus III.“

Excerpt from the new book by Lawrence R. Spencer, MORTALITY MECHANIC’S MANUAL