Category Archives: FREE ADVICE

Free Advice about Life, Universe and Other Stuff from Lawrence R. Spencer

1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, FREE ADVICE, INSIDE THE BOOK, READING MATTER

WELCOME TO HELL :-)

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# 384 — GO TO HEAVEN.

 This may be far more complicated that it sounds as there are hundreds, if not thousands, of definitions of “heaven” among the current citizens of Earth, not to mention the religions and mythology of extinct cultures.

 Confusion, conflict and contradictions notwithstanding, let us assume that if you have managed the make it through your ordeal so far this may be your next move. In case there really is a “heaven”, go ahead and go there. You can always come back later if you don’t like it. (By the way, if you find out where heaven is, try to send us a sign.)

 However, if it turns out that heaven is just a state of mind, don’t bother…we’ll find out when we die. Of course, by then, it will be too late. Either way, it won’t be your fault or your problem. We’re all responsible for our own Destiny…or not.

NEW BOOK BY LAWRENCE R SPENCER# 385 — GO TO HELL.

 If you really do go to heaven it might turn out to be really boring.

 Who could actually stand to live in a place that is eternally “nice”. Really…. Besides, chances are pretty good that you did enough “bad” stuff during your life on Earth that “they” won’t let you “in” to heaven anyway.

 Besides, there may not actually be any heaven. So, if this turns of to be the situation, then what do you have to lose? However, if “hell” isn’t a “place” either, then you may have to go searching for it. If the only place you can find is Earth you have arrived. Welcome back, asshole!”

— Excerpt from the book 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD by Lawrence R. Spencer

ART, FREE ADVICE, LIVES, READING MATTER

Animism

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Animism (from Latin anima, “breath, spirit, life”) is the observation that objects, places and creatures all possess a distinct spiritual essence. Potentially, animism perceives all things—animals, plants, rocks, rivers, weather systems, human handiwork and perhaps even words—as animated and alive. Animism often includes “an idea of pervading life and will in nature”,  a belief that natural objects other than humans have souls.

The animistic perspective is so widely held and inherent to most indigenous peoples that they often do not even have a word in their languages that corresponds to “animism” or even “religion.

Animism encompasses the beliefs that all material phenomena have agency, that there exists no hard and fast distinction between the spiritual and physical (or material) world and that soul or spirit or sentience exists not only in humans, but also in other animals, plants, rocks, geographic features such as mountains or rivers or other entities of the natural environment: water sprites, vegetation deities, tree sprites, etc..

...and other stuff, ART, FREE ADVICE, MORTALITY MECHANIC'S MANUAL, POETIC NONSENSE, READING MATTER, UNIVERSES

THE SOLUTION TO IMMORTALITY

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(Painting:  Allegoria della vita umana – Guido Cafnacci – 1601)

“When you choose to Be Nothing you regain control of Existence.  Your Power, your Ability, your Wisdom, your Freedom and your Immortality are yours to relinquish or embrace.  Do you desire Immortality?  Do you desire to break the cycle of birth, life, pain, death, rebirth and endless,  unwinnable games in the physical universe?

You must decide to Be Nothing. Be responsible for your own Boredom. Create Your Own Universe. Disagree with Agreement. Admire Your Self. Create and find Joy in your games, your dreams, your illusions. Can you hover over a mountaintop for ten thousand years?  Can you pretend, like a child, that your best friend is a ghost?  Can your best friend be You?

The solution to Mortality is Being You: The Immortal Creator.”

— Excerpt from  the new book by Lawrence R. Spencer: MORTALITY MECHANICS’ MANUAL  (Soon to be released as an Audiobook on Audible.com)

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

(Also Available on iTUNES)  http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/isbn9781300137993

...and other stuff, BULLSHIT, FREE ADVICE, READING MATTER, UNIVERSES

HOW TO START A RELIGION FOR FUN AND PROFIT IN 10 EASY STEPS

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(PRINTABLE TEXT)

  1. Report that you have been visited or inspired by a “Divine Being(s)” or an extraterrestrial philosopher who revealed to you, personally and privately, an Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Omnivorous, Omni-Nom-Nom-Nom Big Spirit or Spirits who claim responsibility for having created the god-awful mess we call The Universe.
  2. Swear under pain of death that the Big Spirit or Spirits is/are THE ONLY source of Eternal Life, Mystery, Power, Creation, Love, Beauty, Equality, Joy, Peace, Benevolence, Bliss, etc., etc..
  3. Give your Big Spirit(s) and/or philosophy an impressive sounding name and add the suffix “-anity” or “-ism” or “-ology”.  Examples: The Big Bubba, Omnomnomnom, Zoultron, etc..  Examples: Prescient Eschatology, Powerism, Blissanity, etc..
  4. Write one or more “sacred” books espousing the mythology that you allege has been revealed to you about the origin and/or characteristics of the ONLY Big Spirit(s) and an esoteric philosophy about your personal feelings and opinions about life, universes and sex.  And, don’t forget to have a graphic design artist draw up some complex and esoteric symbols to add a sense of authentic antiquity to reinforce your mythos.
  5. Recruit a bunch of soulless human begins who lead pathetic, hopeless, confused lives and who are gullible enough to think that spiritual qualities exist in the physical universe.  Explain that your Big Spirit will not point out to them that they are the cause of their own misery due to stupidity, irresponsibility, greed, duplicity, lust, etc..  Now you are armed with the necessary propaganda needed to indoctrinate, frighten or coerce  them into becoming “Con-verts”.  (Human beings will believe almost anything if they think it will give them a way to escape responsibility for their own thoughts and actions!)
  6. Designate the most perverted, pathetic, duplicitous, holier-than-thou “Con-verts” to become  priests or “Pre-verts”.  The job of the “Pre-verts” is to create more “Con-verts” by frightening and brow-beating innocent by-standers into buying and reading your “sacred” book(s).
  7. Have your “Pre-verts” promise the most gullible “Con-verts”, who are not aware that there is absolutely no hope of anything except pain, misery, agony, death and betrayal on Earth, that when they fanatically agree with the tenants of your philosophy they will be transported to a “Paradisiacal Afterlife”, provided that they PAY a lot MORE money to the “Pre-verts” who will “intercede” on their behalf with the Big Spirit(s) to guarantee that they will receive permission to continue living forever as a Ghost in the Paradisiacal Afterlife when they die.
  8. Have the Pre-verts tell the Con-verts that they are the ONLY people who really know “The Truth” because the Big Spirit(s) have “chosen” them to be one of the very few members of “The Secret Society of The Only Ones Who Really Know The Truth and Everyone Else Is Evil”.  And, tell them that if they ever stop “believing” they will suddenly become “Evil” and be barred from the  Paradisiacal Afterlife forever, and ever!  Do NOT explain what and where the Paradisiacal Afterlife will be.  Let them use their own imaginations and keep them guessing.
  9. Take some of your profits and use it to pay the “Pre-verts” to build massive and beautifully extravagant temples, gold statues, shrines, monuments, etc., in tribute to the philosopher who thought up the Big Spirit. And, make it the job of the “Pre-verts” to write beautiful rhetoric, music, chants, rituals, incantations, sacrificial ceremonies, etc., to get the gullible “Con-verts” to come and give them MORE money.  (People always pay for glitz and glamour.)
  10. Open one or more off-shore bank accounts and pay the government officials to give you exemption from paying taxes as a “non-profit”, benevolent, do-gooder, organization.  Use some of the money to hire the best attorneys money can buy and pay off government officials to defend yourself from legal actions brought against you by former “Con-verts” for all the fraud, theft, sexual molestation, etc., perpetrated by your “Pre-verts”. Take the rest of your profits and live a life of ease and luxury until you die, get another body, and start all over again as a “believer” in a Big Spirit(s) that someone else invented.

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 Text Copyrighted by Lawrence R. Spencer 2011

Image Copyrighted by Joe Fenton.  All Rights Reserved.