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IMAGINE…..
GOD.
John Lennon (1940 – 1980)
Category Archives: 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD
Excerpts from “1001 Things to do while you’re dead”
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EXCERPTS FROM THE BOOK:
“1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: A Dead Person’s Guide to Living” by Lawrence R. Spencer
AVOID YOUR FUNERAL.
If you are squeamish about autopsies, embalming, funeral piers, cremation incinerators, worms, bugs or bacteria you may want to stay away until all that messy, bad smelling business is over and done.
However, funeral directors have become quite masterful, over the past 5,000 years, at making a dead body look as good, or better, than it looked when it was alive. A little formaldehyde, a few strategic injections, a little stuffing, nice clothes, cosmetics, a wig and a comfy, silk-lined coffin, your used body can look better than ever!
This is a good reason to stay away as you may be enticed to start thinking about going back. Obviously, it’s too late. Factually, you never were a body and you definitely are not a body now. So stay focused. The future is where the rest of your life will be lived!
PRACTICE BEING CUTE.
If you attended your own funeral you are probably suffering from the loss of having a body. More important, you may be thinking that you don’t really have any identity or personality without having a body. How will anyone recognize you without your body?
Fortunately, bodies are a nickel a million. Five babies are born every second. So, should you succumb to the ungodly urge to get a new baby body in order to feel a sense of personal identity, you will need to practice being cute.
The only reason people have babies – and keep them – is because they think babies are cute. The same principle applies to all living creatures. So, brush up on looking cute, making cute sounds, doing cute mannerisms, cute smiles, cute laughs, etc.. You’ll need to have your cute skills in top form when and if you get a new body.
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For more practical tips about things to do while you’re dead, click here: 
1001 Things To Do While You’re Dead (#359 and #360)
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# 359 — GO TO HEAVEN.
This may be far more complicated that it sounds as there are hundreds, if not thousands, of definitions of “heaven” among the current citizens of Earth, not to mention the religions and mythology of extinct cultures.
Confusion, conflict and contradictions notwithstanding, let us assume that if you have managed the make it through your ordeal so far this may be your next move. In case there really is a “heaven”, go ahead and go there. You can always come back later if you don’t like it. (By the way, if you find out where heaven is, try to send us a sign.)
However, if it turns out that heaven is just a state of mind, don’t bother…we’ll find out when we die. Of course, by then, it will be too late. Either way, it won’t be your fault or your problem. We’re all responsible for our own Destiny…or not.
# 360 — GO TO HELL.
If you really do go to heaven it might turn out to be really boring.
Who could actually stand to live in a place that is eternally “nice”. Really…. Besides, chances are pretty good that you did enough “bad” stuff during your life on Earth that “they” won’t let you “in” to heaven anyway.
Besides, there may not actually be any heaven. So, if this turns of to be the situation, then what do you have to lose? However, if “hell” isn’t a “place” either, then you may have to go searching for it. If the only place you can find is Earth you have arrived. Welcome back, asshole!
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— Excerpt from the book “1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD”, by Lawrence R. Spencer
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS BOOK and the author, please visit this site: http://booktour.com/author/33423
OH SHIT
64 BOOKS I HEARD LAST YEAR
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I stopped watching television. I refuse to be “dumbed down” by the “vast wasteland” of insidious drivel produced by the “mind-control media”. I prefer to spend my time with great writers. Like most writers I read a lot of books. In recent years I have become a huge fan of audio books! I listen to at least one book each week on my iPhone.
Recorded books are read to you, sometimes by the authors themselves, such as Stephen King or Neil Gaiman, while you do the routine hands-free activities of daily living: driving, grocery shopping, riding a bicycle, jogging, walking, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, eating and pooping.
There are thousands of recorded books available. You can start by downloading a FREE AUDIO BOOK from Audible.com.
This is a list of 64 Audio books I personally enjoyed hearing during the last year (many for the 2nd or 3rd time):
The Riverboat Series (5 books) by Philip Jose Farmer
Shantaram: A Novel by Gregory David Roberts
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Series of 6 books, including “And Another Thing”) by Douglas Adams
The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams
The Long Lost Tea Time of The Soul by Douglas Adams
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams
Ecco Homo by Friedrich Nietzsche
Heresy by S.J. Parris
Prophecy S.J. Parris
Sacrilege S.J. Parris
Touch by Clair North
The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August by Clair North
Escape from Camp 14 by Blaine Harden
Wizard: The Life and Times of Nikola Tesla by Marc J. Seifer
My Inventions by Nikola Tesla
The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama
Our Occulted History by Jim Marrs
Ubik by Phillip K. Dick
The Hair Potter Series (7 books) by J.K. Rowling
Hyperion by Dan Simmons
The Fall of Hyperion by Dan Simmons
The Domain Expeditionary Rescue Mission by Lawrence R. Spencer
Alien Interview by Matilda MacElroy
Kill Decision by Daniel Suarez
Daemon by Daniel Suarez
Influx by Daniel Suarez
Theft of Swords by Michael J. Sullivan
Hollow World by Michael J. Sullivan
The Republic of Pirates: Being the True and Surprising Story of the Caribbean
Pirates and the Man who brought them down by Colin Woodard
Far Journeys by Robert Monroe
Tao Te Ching by Stephen Mitchell
Off to Be The Wizard by Scott Meyer
Spell and High Water by Scott Meyer
Seize The Night by Dean Koontz
Fear Nothing by Dean Koontz
Ashley Bell by Dean Koontz
Bag of Bones by Stephen King
The John Carter Trilogy by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
The Ocean at The End of The Lane by Neil Gaiman
The Graveyard Boo, by Neil Gaiman
Good Omens by Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman
Dune (Series of 7 books) by Frank Herbert