...and other stuff, 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE DEAD, INSIDE THE BOOK

One more of 1001 Things To Do While You’re Dead

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# 637  FORGET EVERYTHING.

This is easily done. The human race has been doing this since the deepest, dimmest beginnings of time primordial – maybe even since before time was invented.

Forgetting is an especially useful and convenient ability. This is why is has become so popular over the eternity of our previous existence.

The reason is simple: if you have done “naughty” things in the past – or things that other people told you they thought were naughty – you can erase all the blame, shame, regret, guilt and responsibility for all that alleged naughtiness. All you have to do is forget!

Another easy way to forget is to pretend there is some other spirit, like yourself, who is a “great spirit”. Pretend that this “great spirit” made you, and made you DO all those naughty things, so you can put the blame on them for “making you do it”.

Or, pretend that the “great spirit” will forgive you for doing naughty things – if you ask nicely.

Or, tell everyone that “the great spirit made me do those naughty things, so I’m not guilty or insane or responsible for my own actions”.

Even better, tell everyone that the naughty things you did were NOT naughty because you were “commanded” by the Great Spirit to do the naughty things which means they are not really naughty because they were the “will of the Great Spirit” and therefore your actions were “blessed” and “holy”.

Warning: do not ever tell anyone that you are a spirit. And god forbid, do not ever tell anyone that you are the “Great Spirit”. They will bad mouth you, torture you, burn you, crucify you, imprison you, and kill you – in the name of the “Great Spirit” (for your own good, of course).

 

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GREATEST GEEK

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THIS IS THE FIRST PAGE OF A VERY EXCELLENT ON-LINE “COMIC BOOK”  ABOUT NIKOLA TESLA.  READ THE ENTIRE THING HERE:  Why Nikola Tesla was the greatest geek who ever lived – The Oatmeal

Additional notes from the author:

  • If you want to learn more about Tesla, I highly recommend reading Tesla: Man Out of Time
  • Also, this Badass of the week by Ben Thompson is what originally inspired me to write a comic about Tesla. Ben’s also got a book out which is packed full of awesome.
  • There’s an old movie from the 80s on Netflix Instant Queue right now about Tesla: The Secret of Nikola Tesla. It’s corny and full of bad acting, but it paints a fairly accurate depiction of his life.
  • The drunk history of Tesla is quite awesome, too.
  • X-rays: just to clarify, Tesla did not discover x-rays, but he was one of the early pioneers in its research.
  • Cryogenic engineering: I’m referring to the cryogenic engineering that has to do with using liquified air to cool a coil and reduce its electrical resistance (Patent No. 11,865), not freezing people and waking them up in the future so they can fight Wesley Snipes.
  • Transistor: Tesla’s influence on the modern transistor can be found in patents 723,188 and 725,605. (a better explanation here)
  • Radio: Tesla was the nicest geek ever until he decided to sue Marconi a few years later. 8 months after Tesla died, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Marconi’s patents on the invention of radio. So Tesla eventually won that battle, although he was dead by then.
  • Tesla VS Edison: I could write a novel on the differences between Tesla and Edison, but seeing as how this comic is already huge I decided to leave many things out. For instance, Edison killed cats and dogs, but Tesla loved animals and had a cat as a child. Originally Tesla wanted to be a poet, but after getting zapped by static electricity from his kitty he was inspired to study the effects of electricity. One could vaguely construe that Tesla’s cat was responsible for the second industrial revolution, which arguably makes it the most awesome cat who ever lived.
    Edison believed that fossil fuels were the future and that there were enough resources in South America to provide for the next 50,000 years. Tesla believed that renewable energy sources like hydroelectric, solar, and wind power were the future. This is remarkable because in the 1890s there was no such thing as “going green,” so Tesla’s ideas on conservation were very forward-thinking at the time.  (From OATMEAL)
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DOWNTON ABBEY: AN EGALITARIAN OVERVIEW

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DowntonAbbey

DOWNTON ABBEY — an egalitarian overview for viewers of “public” television, financed by “charitable contributions” from the Mega-wealthy, who want you to think you deserve their pity:

Pretentious, self-indulgent vulgarity, greed, gluttony, disdain for the peasant class, grotesque extravagances of the Imperial British social / economic establishment in England, flaunting the arrogance of myopia of assholes who arduously grunt through an incessant utter waste of creative resources lavished upon the self-appointed royalty,  who murder innocent wildlife for amusement, pontificate with gratuitous condescension their disdain for humanity, while pretending piety, by the  murderous thieves who stole the wealth of many continents by brutal force of arms so they can stuff their flaccid faces full of culinary delicacies five times a day while attired in evening dress and catered to by Caucasian slaves — without regard to the Karmic consequences of their criminal decadence!  This tedious ordeal is made to appear “civil” through the cinematic ruse of elaborately aesthetic costumes, quarters and cutlery and a synthetic English countryside where it never, ever rains…. (it’s not a Reality Show, but then, Reality Shows are not “real” either….)

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COMFORTABLY NUMB

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The greatest concert ever staged, and the greatest guitar solo every played.

This is the summary statement of Western Civilization in the 21st Century: Comfortably Numb.

“Comfortably Numb” Lyrics

“Hello,
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on now
I hear you’re feeling down.
I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I’ll need some information first,
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship smoke on the horizon…
You are only coming through in waves…
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I’ve got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

O.K.
Just a little pin prick;
There’ll be no more aaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick….
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working, good.
That’ll keep you going through the show.
Come on it’s time to go.

There is no pain you are receding;
A distant ship smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.
When I was a child,
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
And I have become
Comfortably numb”