Category Archives: 1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD

YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

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“You have always been with yourself, and by yourself, for nearly all of eternity. You are your own best friend.  Enjoy yourself.

However, if you want some companionship, go out a find another spirit, a person, or a life form and befriend them. They will probably appreciate not being alone.”

— Lawrence R. Spencer, 1,001 Things To Do While You’re Dead

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Painting by Takato Yamamoto

HOW TO PEPARE FOR YOUR REINCARNATION

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breastfeeding-mom-by-mary-cassatt-1906Everyone lives, everyone dies…and almost everyone is reincarnated, usually.  Reincarnation planning is not socially acceptable in Western culture, where most people believe whatever they are told by priests and preachers, who don’t know anything at all about what happens when you die!  However, many people in India, China and Tibet take the whole idea in stride.  However, what very few people do is plan ahead for their next lifetime BEFORE they die!

So, if you are pretty sure you’re going to be coming back (again, and again, and again) as a newborn baby, here are a few common-sense suggestions to prepare everything so you will have a healthy, safe, sane, joyful and secure next lifetime.

The first thing you will need to find is a Mother and a Father.  The Mother is much more important than the Father, so your most careful research must be to find a really good Mom!

A really good Mother should be a woman with the following qualities:

  • Your New Mom must be very aware of the spiritual universe, and be very certain that she knows that you and she are both Immortal Spiritual Beings.
  • Ideally, Your new Mom is someone you love, and trust and admire and desire to be with, and care for, for her entire lifetime, and yours.
  • Your New Mom should be your very best friend, as you will be closer to her and depend upon her more than any other person in the world.
  • She should be wise, educated, and cultured, physically fit and strong.
  • She should be a great cook, and know how to grow her own organic vegetables.
  • She must be a great dancer, artist, and music lover.
  • Your New Mom should be willing and able to communicate with you about anything.
  • She should be an intelligent teacher, a good listener and a student of wisdom and a seeker of Truth.
  • Most of all, Your New Mom should be full of Joy and Love and Compassion for all living creatures, especially You!
  • It is also very nice if Your New Mom has perfect breasts!  (This makes feeding time much more pleasurable.)

Once you have found and created a loving relationship with Your New Mom (before you die, of course) there are a few practical matters to take care of:Mother breastfeeding newborn baby

  • You must go to live near Your New Mom, so that you and she will be able to find each other when you depart from your old body.  You will be a disembodied spiritual being, so you must be very, very certain that you know where she is when you die!  Ideally, Your New Mom will already be pregnant when you leave your old body, so you don’t have to hang around waiting for your next body to be born!
  • If possible, Your New Mom and Father will have a very stable, loving, sensible relationship!  Having a really good Mom and Father is a huge bonus!  You New Dad should be strong, intelligent, athletic, educated, compassionate and fun loving.  It will help  if he likes kids too!
  • Your New Mom should live in a safe, quite, clean and beautiful natural environment where you and she can have a happy life together!

Next, get your legal and financial affairs in order.  Instead of leaving all your hard earned money from this lifetime to your ungrateful kids or your lawyer, plan to leave everything to YOURSELF so you can enjoy it in you Next Lifetime!

  • Arrange your Last Will and Testament to bequeath your money, property, assets, insurance benefits, investments, and any other valuable goods to Your New Mom.  (If,  for any reason, your new parents get divorced you will want Your Mom to have the money to support BOTH of you, so she doesn’t have to go to work for a living, and take you to a stupid day care center or public school!)
  • Make sure Your New Mom has copies of all your legal documents, and financial documents BEFORE you leave the body.

feedingNow, give Your New Mom a number of your special, personal possessions, photographs, and your personal memorabilia  to keep for you.  When you enter into you next body at birth, you will be able to identify these objects.  This will be “proof” that you and Your New Mom can use to verify that YOU and really YOU!  (The Llamas of Tibet use this trick to identify their fellow Llamas after death and rebirth.)

When the Blessed Event of Your Reincarnation draws near, leave your body as painlessly as possible, and hang out with Your New Mom until your Birthday comes!  ( Read the book “1,001 Things To Do While You’re Dead” ) for handy tips about things to do while your waiting for your next body to be born.

Finally, swoop down into the body, assume complete responsibility for it, and for Your New Mom, and begin enjoying your Next Life!

One more of 1001 Things To Do While You’re Dead

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# 637  FORGET EVERYTHING.

This is easily done. The human race has been doing this since the deepest, dimmest beginnings of time primordial – maybe even since before time was invented.

Forgetting is an especially useful and convenient ability. This is why is has become so popular over the eternity of our previous existence.

The reason is simple: if you have done “naughty” things in the past – or things that other people told you they thought were naughty – you can erase all the blame, shame, regret, guilt and responsibility for all that alleged naughtiness. All you have to do is forget!

Another easy way to forget is to pretend there is some other spirit, like yourself, who is a “great spirit”. Pretend that this “great spirit” made you, and made you DO all those naughty things, so you can put the blame on them for “making you do it”.

Or, pretend that the “great spirit” will forgive you for doing naughty things – if you ask nicely.

Or, tell everyone that “the great spirit made me do those naughty things, so I’m not guilty or insane or responsible for my own actions”.

Even better, tell everyone that the naughty things you did were NOT naughty because you were “commanded” by the Great Spirit to do the naughty things which means they are not really naughty because they were the “will of the Great Spirit” and therefore your actions were “blessed” and “holy”.

Warning: do not ever tell anyone that you are a spirit. And god forbid, do not ever tell anyone that you are the “Great Spirit”. They will bad mouth you, torture you, burn you, crucify you, imprison you, and kill you – in the name of the “Great Spirit” (for your own good, of course).