All posts by LRS

HORMONES

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hormones

When you become pregnant, you will inherit the financial and personal responsibility of supporting and caring for an infant human being for the next 20 years, at least.  Your entire life will be changed, your freedom with disappear, financial and physical stress of parenthood will control your thoughts and activities.  So, the next time you feel “horny”, remember that it may not be “you”…. It is more likely that the chemicals in your bloodstream produced by your endocrine system — testosterone or estrogen — are overwhelming your intelligence!  Be prepared.  Don’t ruin your life, and the lives of others.  Use Birth Control!

According to a study published in 2011:

49% of the 6.7 million pregnancies in the United States each year (3.2 million) are unintended

Among women aged 19 years and younger, more than 4 out of 5 pregnancies were unintended.

The proportion of pregnancies that were unintended was highest among teens younger than age 15 years, at 98%.

WAYS TO MAINTAIN HEALTHY INSANITY AT WORK

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1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair  Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Sexual Favors”

7. Finish All Your Sentences With “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”

8. Don’t Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party because You’re Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling

“Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”

20. Copy this and Send an  E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile..   It’s Called Therapy…

HEDONISM (PARTY-EAT-DRINK-SCREW-TILL-YOU-DIE-ISM)

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thomas_couture-romans_of_the_decadence(painting by Thomas Couture: Romans of the decadence)

It’s hard to argue with the ages old philosophy of hedonism. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonism 

We are confronted on Earth with the reality that we are mortal. We inhabit a body of fragile flesh that will die. We live on a Prison Planet. We are surrounded by perpetual pain: death, taxes and with religious and scientific superstitions that ensure our perpetual stupidity.  The idea of “freedom” to which we feel entitled as a “natural right” of Caucasian Conquers of the “barbarians” of North America, Africa, the Middle East, etc., has been stolen from us by Rothschild Private Banks who own the private military / police force and politicians they control. We are the “peasants”.  We obey, we do the heavy lifting, we do the menial work, we pay taxes, we kill each other on battle fields of perpetual warfare, and we die a certain an eternal death.  As spiritual entities we have been given amnesia.  We do not remember Who We Really Are, or where we came from, or who brought us to this planet.  We are isolated and forgotten on a infinitesimally tiny speck of dust on the fringe of a remote galaxy.  We are lost….forever, and ever.  So, when faced the the brutal reality of our insignificantly abysmal existence, it seems that the only “logical” option is to “get drunk and screw and party till you die”.  (and start all over again when you are reincarnated as a “stinky baby”…..ad infinitum).

noun: hedonism

1) the pursuit of pleasure; sensual self-indulgence.
synonyms: self-indulgence, pleasure-seeking, self-gratification, lotus-eating, sybaritism;
intemperance, immoderation, extravagance, luxury, high living

2) the ethical theory that pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life.

GALADRIELS’ WARNING TO GANDALF

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History has proven that Stupid Humans have been more devastating to Middle-Earth and Planet Earth, than a billion truckloads of Balrogs and Orcs!  If Gandalf had listened to Galadriels advice, he might not have saved the Hobbits and Stupid Humans from the Balrog at the Bridge of Khazad-dum.  Then, Saruman the White could have been victorious over the Stupid Humans and The Earth might have been saved from pollution and destruction by Stupid Humans!  (No doubt, the Stupid Humans exterminated all the Hobbits too, just like they massacred the Native Americans and all the rest of the indigeounous people of Earth.)

Gandalf is a character in J. R. R. Tolkien’s novels The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. In these stories, Gandalf appears as a wizard, member and later the head (after Saruman’s betrayal and fall) of the order known as the Istari, as well as leader of the Fellowship of the Ring and the army of the West. In The Lord of the Rings, he is initially known as Gandalf the Grey, but returns from death as Gandalf the White.

Balrogs are fictional demonic beings who appear in J. R. R. Tolkien’s Middle-earth legendarium. Such creatures first appeared in print in his novel The Lord of the Rings, though they figured in earlier writings that posthumously appeared in The Silmarillion and other books. Balrogs are described as tall and menacing with the ability to shroud themselves in fire, darkness, and shadow. They frequently appeared armed with fiery whips “of many thongs”, and occasionally used long swords. In Tolkien’s later conception, they could not be casually destroyed—significant power was required. Only dragons rivaled their capacity for ferocity and destruction,and during the First Age of Middle-earth, they were among the most feared of Morgoth’s forces.

Galadriel is a character created by J.R.R. Tolkien, appearing in his Middle-earth legendarium. She appears in The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, and Unfinished Tales.  She was a royal Elf of both the Noldor and the Teleri, being a grandchild of both King Finwë and King Olwë, and was also close kin of King Ingwë of the Vanyar through her grandmother Indis. She was one of the leaders in the rebellion of the Noldor and their flight from Valinor during the First Age, and she was the only prominent Noldo to return at the end of the Third Age. Towards the end of her stay in Middle-earth she was co-ruler of Lothlórien with her husband, Lord Celeborn, and was referred to variously as the Lady of Lórien, the Lady of the Galadhrim, the Lady of Light, or the Lady of the Golden Wood. Her daughter Celebrían was the wife of Elrond and mother of Arwen, Elladan and Elrohir.  Tolkien describes Galadriel as “the mightiest and fairest of all the Elves that remained in Middle-earth” (after the death of Gil-galad) and the “greatest of elven women”.

Saruman the White is a fictional character and a major antagonist in J. R. R. Tolkien’s fantasy novel The Lord of the Rings. He is leader of the Istari, wizards sent to Middle-earth in human form by the godlike Valar to challenge Sauron, the main antagonist of the novel, but eventually desires Sauron’s power for himself and tries to help the Dark Lord take over Middle-earth. His schemes feature prominently in the second volume, The Two Towers, and at the end of the third volume, The Return of the King. His earlier history is given briefly in the posthumously published The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales.  Saruman is one of several characters in the book illustrating the corruption of power; his desire for knowledge and order leads to his fall, and he rejects the chance of redemption when it is offered. The name Saruman means “man of skill”;he serves as an example of technology and modernity being overthrown by forces more in tune with nature.

Orcs are a race of creatures who are used as soldiers and henchmen by both the greater and lesser villains of The Silmarillion and The Lord of the Rings — Morgoth, Sauron and Saruman. The Orcs also work independently as the common antagonists in The Hobbit, though in that work they are more often called Goblins. Although not entirely dim-witted and occasionally crafty, they are portrayed as miserable beings, hating everyone including themselves and their masters, whom they serve out of fear. They make no beautiful things, but rather design cunning devices made to hurt and destroy.