Category Archives: BULLSHIT

...and other stuff, ART, BULLSHIT, FREE ADVICE, LIVES, POETIC NONSENSE, UNIVERSES

CUTE BABY PICTURE

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FIRST BABY PICTURE

“ATTEND YOUR OWN FUNERAL.

When your relatives or public officials get around to disposing of your used body you may choose to attend the funeral. This can be complicated, tedious and disturbing to yourself and other funeral guests. Or it can be a great comfort to you and your loved ones. It’s up to you.
If you are concerned that the used body is disposed of properly you should definitely attend to make sure your final wishes have been followed. You may also want to check to see who is really grieving over your absence, and who is only pretending so they can get a share of your estate, and who came for the free food and drinks.
Reverence for the dead is very important. Especially if you’re the one that is dead. One thing is certain – you will never think of funerals the same way again. If you care about what your relatives or the undertaker is going to do with your used body you will want to stay to the end. This includes the burial, cremation, sprinkling of the ashes, donation to the “used parts” laboratory, or whatever is supposed to be done with your used body.
If you plan ahead you can have your body buried in a vegetable garden, a forest, a flower bed, or fed to the fishes in the ocean. It’s a shame to let a perfectly good source of nutrition for plants or other living creatures go to waste!
1001 Things to do while you're deadAVOID YOUR FUNERAL.
If you are squeamish about autopsies, embalming, funeral piers, cremation incinerators, worms, bugs or bacteria you may want to stay away until all that messy, bad smelling business is over and done.
However, funeral directors have become quite masterful, over the past 5,000 years, at making a dead body look as good, or better, than it looked when it was alive. A little formaldehyde, a few strategic injections, a little stuffing, nice clothes, cosmetics, a wig and a comfy, silk-lined coffin, your used body can look better than ever!
This is a good reason to stay away as you may be enticed to start thinking about going back. Obviously, it’s too late. Factually, you never were a body and you definitely are not a body now. So stay focused. The future is where the rest of your life will be lived!

PRACTICE BEING CUTE.
If you attended your own funeral you are probably suffering from the loss of having a body. More important, you may be thinking that you don’t really have any identity or personality without having a body. How will anyone recognize you without your body?
Fortunately, bodies are a nickel a million. Five babies are born every second. So, should you succumb to the ungodly urge to get a new baby body in order to feel a sense of personal identity, you will need to practice being cute.
The only reason people have babies – and keep them – is because they think babies are cute. The same principle applies to all living creatures. So, brush up on looking cute, making cute sounds, doing cute mannerisms, cute smiles, cute laughs, etc.. You’ll need to have your cute skills in top form when and if you get a new body.”

— Excerpt from the book by Lawrence R. Spencer:  1001 THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU’RE DEAD: THE DEAD PERSONS GUIDE TO LIVING 

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

...and other stuff, BULLSHIT

GUNS: THE ESSENCE OF AMERICA

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Since I was a kid growing up in the 1950s guns were promoted as THE toy to own and “play” with.  America is country built on guns.  The invaders of the American continents from European countries we able to kill and enslave all of the indigenous population because they possessed and used one thing:  GUNS.  Americans WORSHIP guns.  A gigantic number of movies, TV shows, books, etc. glorify the use of guns.  Killing with guns is an entertainment.  Killing with guns is a sport.  Guns are power.  Power is “good”.  Killing with guns is the RELIGION of the United States of America.  The right to own and use guns to kill anything and everything that moves is guaranteed in the Constitution of The United States of America.  The US also spends more than 2/3rds of every tax dollar on the military.  So, if you are “shocked” by the use of guns to massacre small children in classrooms of America, you are either an idiot or a hypocrite, or both.  What goes around, comes around.

READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE HERE:  Papa Says It’s Safe”: 20 Astounding Gun Ads | Mother Jones.

 

BULLSHIT

OIL PROFITEERS

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(Image: Adam Baron)

Big Oil is heavily profiting from the status quo

percentage of crude oil imported by five biggest companies

Many major oil companies and their trade association, the American Petroleum Institute, are some of the most vocal opponents of increasing American energy independence and reducing global warming pollution. This is likely because they profit by buying oil from “dangerous or unstable” states. This includes importing oil from Syria, Saudi Arabia, Nigeria, Mauritania, Iraq, Congo, Colombia, Chad, and Algeria.

In 2008 Chevron made a profit of $23.9 billion while nearly half of its imports—138 million barrels of oil—came from these countries.ExxonMobil made $45.2 billion while getting 43 percent of its oil—205.6 million barrels—from these countries. About one-third of BP’s imports—110.6 million barrels—were from these countries in 2008, when the company’s profits were $25.6 billion.

percentage of crude oil imported by five biggest companiesApproximately 25 percent of ConocoPhillips’ imports were from “dangerous or unstable” countries—116.7 million barrels—in 2008, contributing to its $52.7 billion profit.

With that kind of money it’s no wonder Big Oil is doing everything in its power to maintain the status quo. The companies are spending record amounts on lobbying to stop clean-energy and climate legislation. The American Petroleum Institute spent $75.2 million for public relations and advertising in 2008, and in the third quarter of 2009 the oil and gas industry outspent all other sectors lobbying on climate change, with Exxon Mobil leading the pack spending $7.2 million.And Shell raked in $31.4 billion that year, also importing one-quarter of its oil—61.8 million barrels—from these countries. (Note: Shell includes Shell Chemical LP, Shell Chemical Yabucoa Inc, Shell US Trading Co, Shell Oil Co, and Shell Oil Co Deer Park).

Oil companies are also the main source of funding for API’s front group, Energy Citizens, which makes false claims that climate change legislation will be a national energy tax and job killer. In reality, passing clean-energy and pollution reduction legislation will be affordable and even save consumers money while creating a net of 1.7 million jobs.

By Rebecca Lefton, Daniel J. Weiss | January 13, 2010