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Every 3rd commercial you see on TV is for “dick pills”, or Life Insurance.  I’ve often wondered if all this expensive advertising is a conspiracy between women, the pharmaceutical industry and life insurance companies to cash in on sex as a way to boost sales.  Also, it’s a smart and legal way to get rid of the Old Man, and live happily ever after collecting on the Life Insurance policy when the old f*cker is dead, long, long after menopause and the total cessation of sexual desire.  By the way, my own father died of a heart attack at the age of 78 while having sex with my mother.  (true story.)

Here’s an advertisement I made up to warn men about my “Drugs, Sex and Insurance Conspiracy Theory”: