LIFE, UNIVERSES AND OTHER STUFF
25Sep/11Off

HOW TO ASK FOR HELP IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY

NOTE TO IGNORANT AMERICANS:  CUT and PASTE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING PHRASES INTO THIS HANDY GOOGLE TRANSLATOR LINK TO COVERT THE TEXT TO ENGLISH)

Like most Americans your probably don't speak "foreign" languages.  To help you identify yourself to the "natives" in a foreign country you will find the following phrase useful while travelling abroad.  Just speak the phrase S..L...O...W...L...Y in the appropriate language from the following list.  The "natives" will understand that you are an American and will render the appropriate assistance to you:

SPANISH:  Soy un ávido, sediento de sangre, santurrón hipócrita.

FRENCH:  Je suis un avide, sanguinaire, bien-pensants hypocrites.

GERMAN:  Ich bin ein gieriger, blutrünstig, selbstgerechten Heuchler.

DUTCH:  Ik ben een gulzig, bloeddorstige, zelfingenomen hypocriet.

RUSSIAN:   Я жадный, кровожадные, самодовольные лицемером.

CHINESE:  我是一個貪婪,嗜血,自以為是的偽君子。

POLISH:  Jestem chciwy, żądny krwi, obłudny hipokryta.

GREEK:   Είμαι άπληστος, αιμοδιψής, φαρισαϊκή υποκριτής.

SWAHILI:  Mimi ni tamaa, simba, self-haki mnafiki.

HINDI:   मैं एक लालची, जालिम, पाखंडी पाखंडी हूँ.

3Apr/11Off

FULL FRONTAL HYPOCRISY

hy·poc·ri·sy (hĭ-pŏkˈrĭ-sē)  noun pl. hypocrisies (hy·poc·ri·sies)

  • The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.

  • An act or instance of such falseness.

Origin: from Late Latin hypocrisis, play-acting, pretense

Hypocrite, n. One who, profession virtues that he does not respect secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.” – Ambrose Bierce

The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity” – Andre Gide

Hypocrisy can afford to be magnificent in its promises, for never intending to go beyond promise, it costs nothing” – Edward Burke

Corruption and hypocrisy ought not to be inevitable products of democracy, as they undoubtedly are today” – Mahatma Gandhi

He (Thomas Paine) saw oppression on every hand; injustice everywhere; hypocrisy at the altar; venality on the bench, tyranny on the throne; and with a splendid courage he espoused the cause of the weak against the strong” – Robert Greene Ingersoll

Woe unto you, scribes and *Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation." - (Matthew 23:14)

*(Note: the word "pharisee" has come into semi-common usage in English to describe a hypocritical and arrogant person who places the letter of the law above its spirit.)