It’s not easy to say what I really think about Life in this Universe. It’s complicated. It’s a Love / Hate relationship. The random, unpredictable drama of it is entertaining, amusing and terrifying. I love the sensual scenery on Earth and the impassioned sensations of sex. I hate pain, lies, stupidity and injustice. The wonder and mystery of an endlessly starry night is a facade of pretended majesty. The sounds of soft, subtle jazz are sublime. A trusted companion is comforting. Ice cream is irresistible. The blissful buzz of booze is bemusing. I am enamored with the innocent insouciance of animals. Life Forms are reflections of The Divine Essence of Life.
Yet, I detest greed and the callous brutality of possessions. I would love to love this universe. But, it’s not my universe. It’s not the universe I would create if I could create my own. It is full of recycled pain and dying and death. Agony, mystery and ignorance are everywhere. There are no real angels or faeries here. No honor. No Integrity. No Justice. No Mercy. No Poetic Magic. This universe in impassive and intolerant of nonsensically nonsequitur nonsense.
This universe is frozen, dark, impartial vacuum dotted with incandescent infernos of light-emitting balls of eternally burning gases! Sprinkled, intermittently, throughout are gaseous clouds of radioactive poison and icy balls of rock. It swirls and grows relentlessly in an eternally timeless now of revolving, random rotation. It is not me. It is not mine. I can’t own it and I don’t want it. Yet, I can’t leave it behind! (as far as I know, I’m stuck here….)
Does it have a purpose and destiny? Does it know that I exist? Does it care?
No. It does not.
I am a Nothingness of Thought. I’m not from here. I didn’t begin anywhere. I am not a Thing. I Am Endlessly Emitting Emotions, Ideas, Compassion and Creative Notions.
I am Universes Apart from this universe. Universes apart.
In My Own Universe I Am what I dream: Sensual, Dramatic, Comic. I AM. Motionless. Curious. Playful. Joyful. Pleased with my Own Existence. I Create. I Change. I Destroy, or not, at My Whim. I Am My Universe in My Universe. You’re welcome to share it with me, as long as you Admire My Creations. I’d like to Admire Yours too. More than anything, I don’t like being Alone and Bored.
— Lawrence R. Spencer. Saturday Night Musing. November 2012.